


handshake from a hopeless daydreamer

by penndent



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Nightmares, Ouma not Oma, Reincarnation, Slow Burn, characters are a bit ooc on purpose, i really gotta figure out how to tag, kind of angst, the author cares more about aesthetic than plot, those are lowkey generic tags honestly, v3 hopes peak au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:41:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24726916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penndent/pseuds/penndent
Summary: Kokichi doesn't sleep well at night. That much is obvious from just glancing at the bags underneath his eyes. But what no one really knows is that the dreams he experiences aren't just a lucid experience. They're real, the people he watched slowly crumble and fade away are real. And the boy at the center of it all trying to stay afloat is real.And he just transferred into Kokichi's class.
Relationships: Iruma Miu & K1-B0 & Oma Kokichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 28
Kudos: 254





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> whooooa nellie this is a bad idea but i'm going through with it. this is based off of a comic made by adiazrue on instagram, in which i was given permission to write this (kindly go check out the comic, it's way better than what i came up with) https://www.instagram.com/p/CBTDaPeA1gg/?igshid=hsu1tz4k3ov5
> 
> i. uh. overestimated my ability to write while under writer's block but i got a little too excited to write this so i hope i did it enough justice.

Kokichi Ouma's favorite color isn't blue, yet anyone would mistake it as such for the way he overuses it. From the bright-colored ink he writes with to his little doodles, to the stuffed animal he may or may not sleep with but he'll kill you if you touch this possibly nonexistent object, to his odd fixation with blueberries he piles on top of his breakfast every morning.

He's using that exact color right now to outline a messy sketch of… well, some boy he dreams about a lot. But not in a weird context or anything. Quite frankly, he's not sure just who this person is, which is why he labeled the drawing  _ 'Trustworthy?'  _ alongside some other little notes. It's been like that for a long time, really, but he chose not to dwell on it. Chose not to dwell on the odd dreams that plagued him in the depths of midnight where he sees flashes of blue, sometimes black-and-white and red in the shape of a lightning bolt, silver, and then nothing but neon pink. Always neon pink.

It's just to occupy his thoughts for a little, really. Because mornings aren't so merciful, and he has to make do with keeping himself awake. Sure, his classmates are entertaining, with the way people like Tenko is beating up whichever poor male soul decided to approach Himiko, but he'd kind of rather just draw instead.

"Hey, Cock-ichi!" a familiar voice bellows out, and quite frankly he can't tell if that's a good thing or not. On one hand, he doesn't have to try so hard to stay awake, but on the other hand he doesn't want his drawing to be interrupted. He's lazily writing 'Stupid cap' on the sketch just as a hand claps onto his shoulder energetically. While Kiibo kind of stares with an  _ 'I'm-in-charge-of-these-idiots' _ look.

Ah, Miu. Always being a blinding ray of sunshine. "Look at you bein' a gloomy virgin!" she cackles, "you still tryna find a way to mindfuck your imaginary boyfriend into existence?" Hm, well at least she was changing up her insults this time around. She'd called the mysterious boy a pornstar Kokichi was obsessed with for about a week now.

He sets down his pen, glancing tiredly at his two friends. Looks like Kiibo didn't seem to be in much of a talking mood, only waving at one of their classmates with weak enthusiasm. "...Well, what about you, Miu? Still trying to put your dick into Kiiboy?" Kokichi shoots back, and even though it very much lacked any kind of bite, his comment still makes Miu shrink back in both surprise and arousal.

"D-Dick? I-I-In Kiiboy? W-Well, I could arrange th-that..."

"Please don't rope me into this," Kiibo interjects with a sigh. Kokichi may never get these two, or why they'd been friends for so long when their personalities seemed to headbutt at every given opportunity, but that didn't really matter much. A lot of weird, unexplainable things happen all the time. Things he has no control over which sometimes irritates him in ways he doesn't really get. "You do happen to draw this person a lot, however," he notes to a very uncaring Kokichi.

"Yeah?" he hums, not glancing up. "You and Miu hang out a lot and yet it just means you're really good friends."

Miu scoffs loudly, sounding nearly offended by the thought. "Please, as if some scrawny virgin could ever get past havin' wet dreams about me. I'm way too outta everyone's league in this school."

Kiibo ignores the blatant insult, continuing. "Recurring dreams can often be a sign of stress, or your subconscious reminding you of an unresolved dilemma."

The blonde loudly gasps. "So it  _ is  _ a pornstar that's gotcha all hot and bothered, isn't it, you goddamn liar?" So he counted his luck on Miu having original insults, big deal.

"No, Miu, it's not a pornstar." Kokichi rolls his eyes, but doesn't really elaborate. He doesn't need to (that, and he doesn't even know how to).

He doesn't know how to explain that this person feels really important, when he doesn't even know their name or who they are to him. Like a phantom, haunting him, dangling the answer right in front of his face and jumping back the moment he got remotely close. He sees these things a lot; in daydreams that aren't his, or at night where his thoughts are splattered in pink. They probably have meaning, but they don't make sense either way. It just makes for a difficult night of rest each day.

He returns to his drawing as Miu goes into some sort of rant about her latest invention that sounds inherently useless, which Kiibo very much comments on and leaves her dejected. Perks of being a robot programmed with emotions, he supposes. This seems to go on for a couple minutes, until frantic footfall approaches the door, and the door is abruptly thrown open.

"Guys, shut it!" Kaede shouts, catching the attention of each student in the room. "Ms. Chisa is outside the door!" It's a little amusing to watch everyone move like clockwork to scramble to their respective spots, including Kaede, and as soon as their teacher enters the whole room is quiet and patient.

Ms. Yukizome is a little too enthusiastic for Kokichi's tastes, but that's probably why she and Kaede seem to get along like college buds. They're both annoying to a certain degree. "Good morning, class!" she chirps with unrealistic cheerfulness this early in the morning. Glancing towards the door with a quiet expectancy that it tugs Kokichi's curiosity and he's glancing up as well. She's mouthing 'It's okay' to the door, and for a second he was concerned about her health when hesitant footsteps enter through, joining her side at the front of the classroom. Their sight obscured by the brim of a hat.

"As you can see, there's a new student!" Ms. Yukizome continues, placing an encouraging hand on the boy's back. Pausing with a small laugh. "Well, actually he's not really a new student, he's always been in this class, he's just—" The boy looks a bit uncomfortable, glancing at the floor. Possibly from her spilling what seemed like personal information. "Oops, I'm babbling. C'mon! Let's hear it from the boy himself!"

There's something about the air that seems to thicken. Maybe it's the way Miu and Kiibo are intensely staring at Kokichi like he just sprouted an extra head, or the way that- the boy straightens slightly, adjusting his hat. And suddenly their eyes meet. Gold clashing with wisteria, and it feels familiar. Like some sort of challenge he couldn't possibly turn down. A challenge only they're fully aware of that no one else really understands. A challenge between truth and lies.

"Um… My name is Shuichi Saihara," comes a soft, timid voice. "I am the Ultimate Detective."

\---

"You're a psychic."

"Seriously,  _ that's  _ your first assumption?"

"Duh-doy! What other bullshit excuse can  _ you  _ make up?!"

"So you admit it's bullshit." Kokichi leans back into his seat with a rough sigh; he hates the cafeteria and its incessant buzzing of chatter, and yet he was dragged here courtesy of Miu. Who felt like gossiping, of course. It didn't really stop him from attempting to tune her out with the book Kiibo had been reading, but she was a bit persistent.

"I am not programmed to believe in coincidences, but you would have to believe that this incident is strange," Kiibo notes, glancing over at his stolen book he had been using to entertain himself.

"Okay, look." Miu slaps a hand on the table as if she just made an amazing breakthrough. The items on her lunch tray clatter and clash together from the rough impact. "There's two options here; the p—"

"It's not a pornstar, Miu," Kokichi sighs.

"Psychic it is, then! Quit lookin' at me like I'm a dumbass, I  _ know  _ I'm right! Look at the damn drawing, the likeness is pretty much fuckin' identical, and Cock-ichi can't draw for shit!"

"Moreover…" Kiibo looks over at Kokichi again, who pretends not to notice. "Are you going to talk to him?"

The book falls out of Kokichi's grip and onto the table. Genius idea, let's go talk to the weird kid featured in all of your dreams about annoying talking bears and a hydraulic press. The person that just so happens to actually be  _ real  _ and that was a bit confusing for what those dreams meant.

That one same goddamn person is incidentally only a table away and surrounded by many people, most from their class and very clearly overwhelmed by the attention. Particularly from Kaito, which was an immediate red flag that told Kokichi to never engage for the rest of his life.

"...Absolutely not," he finalizes, but still finds himself unable to tear his gaze away. Even in real life, the cap looks dumb.

"Figures you'd have a wet dream about some stranger and don't even nail 'em the next time you see 'em," Miu huffs disapprovingly. "So, what, you're just gonna eyefuck him all year?"

"I would have to agree with Miu to a certain degree. Maybe engaging with this classmate would prove helpful," Kiibo comments, but it ends up being ignored as Kokichi continues to watch intently. Because, honestly, robots start to lose their charm and get boring after a while.

Shuichi is asking some sort of question before standing up. Kokichi can only read 'thank you' from the boy's lips as he suddenly leaves the cafeteria, unaware that violet eyes were watching his movements. "There goes your boyfriend, Quiche," Miu notes with a small snicker. "Whaddya gonna do about it, hm?"

"You're not implying that Kokichi stalks him, right?" Kiibo asks in disbelief. Though, really it shouldn't be that surprising given that she made a lot of dumb decisions on a daily basis.

"Hell fuckin' yeah I'm implyin' that Kokichi stalks him! What, I've been rootin' for him to get some for ages now, don't get on my case that you two are sad little virgins that couldn't fuck your way out of a wet dream." She crosses her arms defensively, and Kokichi can hear them argue about the ethics but he's long tuned it out. Because honestly it happens daily that he no longer cares, and his mind is already overworking trying to understand what had drawn him to this one person.

His body works without his permission, and suddenly he's leaving the cafeteria the same direction Shuichi had left. Hearing Kiibo lament about his lost book and Miu quickly following after.

"You do realize we're not attached to the hip all the time, right?" he asks dully, glancing up at the blonde that had a tight grip on Kiibo's wrist. "You can go do whatever in the robotics lab, y'know."

"And miss out on whatever the fuck is goin' on?" Miu cackles. "Hell no!"

"I'm only engaging purely by coercion," Kiibo points out, trying to match Miu's pace but finds he's being dragged behind by her strong grip. "As well as to retrieve my book—"

"No one cares about your little Playboy magazine, this is  _ way  _ more interestin'!" Kokichi rolls his eyes, trying real hard to be discreet but finding that task quite difficult with his two idiotic friends. He holds an arm out in front of them to stop them from continuing. Backing the three of them against the wall so they wouldn't be spotted.

Really, he's not sure why he's Mission Impossible-ing all of this for some kid he's seen in his dreams one too many times. But he watches as the target enters the library, and he's tempted to follow if his common sense didn't dig his heels firmly into the floor, swooping in at the very last second.

Miu peeks her head from behind the corner, scrunching up her nose. "Oh, ew, the library. So on top of bein' an emo, he's also a nerd. You sure know how to pick 'em, pipsqueak."

"I'm really questioning the ethics on this," Kiibo trails off with blatant uncertainty, but still follows as the other two he's responsible for begin to hover near the door that led to the library.

Shuichi is chatting with the librarian, making a few hand gestures towards the books in his hands and waits patiently while they're kindly taken from him, presumably to be checked in.

"...He's also boring," the blonde comments with a huff. "Man, I was hopin' for  _ some  _ kinda action and all we get is vanil—" Kokichi sharply cuts her off by clamping his palm firmly over her mouth, his instincts begging to draw back when she licks him in order to get him to let go.

Trying not to focus on Miu's tongue running over his hand with a grimace, he instead focuses back on Shuichi, who had taken a seat at a vacant table and calmly thumbs through a book. Peacefully, intently focused on every word he comes across. That kind of drive feels familiar in a way.

Familiar in the sense he's looking over a crime scene, carefully analyzing every detail that stood out, subtle or obvious. Almost like an entirely new person. Someone with determination in their efforts and unraveling the truth even if it was agonizing. And those eyes, yet again, staring directly into Kokichi's soul— wait a minute.

Sudden heat rushes to Kokichi's face and he ducks his head back to break the eye contact, instead staring at the floor. Finally letting go of Miu so he could think, only to hear her cackle unsubtly. "My god, you sad poor simp, you really got a hard-on from just lookin' into his eyes?!" It doesn't take long for him to muster enough courage to glance up again, except Shuichi had brought the book to his face to conceal it, shoulders tensed up.

"...It would appear Shuichi is visibly uncomfortable being watched," Kiibo observes.

"If I knew any better, I'd say that was sarcasm I just detected there, Kiiboy," Kokichi teases with a light smirk. "Keep it up and you'll be human in no time."

"I'll be adding that comment with the rest of your robophobic insults." The supreme leader only gives a lazy thumbs-up, his heart stupidly pounding incessantly in his chest as Shuichi slowly lowers the book to reveal only his eyes, only to bring the book right back up realizing that his stalkers haven't left him alone.

"Okay, so, go talk to him then," Miu states, as if it's the most obvious choice. Kokichi reels his head back to glare at her.

"Absolutely not." Talk to him? He couldn't possibly do that.

"How come?" She crosses his arms, already anticipating his answer to be dumb.

"Because I said so."

"I hate to interject, but—" Kiibo is cut off immediately.

"So, what, you're just gonna watch him like a lovesick puppy and not engage or somethin'?"

Kokichi pinches the bridge of his nose. "Miu, it's not that easy. Sorry it's easy for you to talk to whoever you want because you're popular or some crap but this is different."

"Guys—"

"How so? It's literally goin' up to the guy and sayin', 'Hey, wouldja like to talk?' Stop dancin' around it and just  _ go  _ for it."

"That's  _ not  _ how it works, Miu."

"Guys!"

"Why's it gotta be different because you draw him or some shit? Sure, it's freaky but it shouldn't stop you from goin' after what you want."

"You'd think you'd understand density since you're an inventor and all. Miu, look, I'm not gonna talk to him and that's final."

"Ah, excuse me?" Both Miu and Kokichi halt in their argument, completely caught off-guard as Shuichi stands by the door staring at them with a mix of confusion and discomfort. "Do I… Um, Do I know you by any chance?" he asks softly, not even looking up at them.

"Unfortunately," Kiibo mutters, and his wrist is yet again captured by Miu.

"Wooow, wouldja look at the time! Robotics club meetin' calls us, bye!" As Miu rushes away from the scene, ignoring Kiibo's protests, Kokichi realized right then and there that he had to plan out a couple murders. But first he had to get through how unbearably awkward this is.

"...Um…" Shuichi takes a small step back. "You're… in my class, right?" His voice is small, unconfident, and it somehow reminds Kokichi of bright pink again. And a noose, accompanied by a shot-put ball.

"Yeah." He adjusts his scarf, really not sure just- what to say. Because he barely interacts with his classmates as it is, much less someone that he sees too much in his dreams. Too much. And the dreams are always loosely connected, like fragments of memories that aren't his. Some are silly, like playing card games or chasing after a robot, or serious.

Like a person's entire body eaten by piranhas until the skeleton remained floating in a tank of water, the dissonance of piano notes being played at an erratic speed, or… squish.

"...Your friends seem nice," Shuichi tries, just barely hanging on when the air was so thick.

"So they appear." He doesn't know what to do in this scenario and it was probably a little too prominent.

"...Can I ask why you've, um… been following me all day?" He trails off until the last words are just a mumble, but it's not difficult to interpret. It's just difficult to answer.

"You look like someone I've met before." He finds himself staring at those eyes again, that have a weird quality. Like they've seen unspeakable horrors but still have to keep going. Keeping some sort of promise, no matter how unrealistic it was. Just had to keep trying.

"Really?" Shuichi laughs softly, a small sound that rumbles in his throat and leaves behind a slight ache in Kokichi's chest.

"Yeah. Maybe you and I were lovers in a past life."  _ Stay calm stay calm stay calm stay calm st— _

"That's… quite the imagination." Shuichi tightly grips the book in his hands, a conflicted emotion washing over his expression like he's fighting an argument in his head. "Um, what's your name? I'd tell you mine but… I'm, ah, pretty sure you already know it."

Kokichi's stupid heart won't stop loudly beating and he's almost sure Shuichi can hear. "Kokichi Ouma." He's trying to remain composed, but that's not really easy, because scenarios are pictured in his head, and…

"Kokichi, huh? That's a nice name," Shuichi offers with a small chuckle. Drowning in the awkwardness of this whole conversation. "Not sure if I've, ah, ever met someone with that name before."

"Not sure if I've ever met someone with the name Shuichi before." Somehow that feels like a lie even though it wasn't. But everything about this version of Shuichi was perfectly identical to the drawings and dreams. From the small little star on his dumb cap, to the perfect shade of gold in his eyes, to his fidgety timid nature. They had to have met before. They had to. "Sorry my dumb friends and I interrupted your reading time. You can go back to it now." With that said, he's ready to make his escape until—

"Ah, wait!"  _ Goddamn it.  _ "Um, I'm kind of lost and… have no idea where my next class is. Or just about anything, really." Shuichi is rubbing at his neck sheepishly, clearly not happy with having to request things. "Can you- Can you show me where I'm supposed to go? For science, I mean."

Kokichi stays where he stands. "...It's a small school," he deadpans. A part of him not wanting to engage and the rest of him doing just that.

"...So it is." You would've thought someone would show him around but clearly that wasn't the case, so he gestured for the weird detective to follow. Not sure just what to say because everything had already been said. "So, um… what's your talent?" Shuichi asks, trying to keep a decent conversation flow going.

"Ultimate Supreme Leader." It's less impressive than it sounds.

"Oh-! Really?" Shuichi appears a bit stunned. "So you, um… run an organization?"

"Yep. With members of over 10,000." Something within him tells him to lie about the number, and it's quite amusing to see the other male's reaction.

"I've… never heard of an organization with such high numbers before. Does it have a name?"

Kokichi can't help but smile; something about teasing Shuichi feels normal and natural. "Maybe, or maybe not. It's a secret." It's a bit funnier to see his expression turn so serious, as if the words had any actual substance when they genuinely don't. "I am a liar, after all. Who knows what I say is the truth?"

Shuichi's shoulders slant, and his expression returns to normal. "...Huh." It's an ambiguous sound that leaves Kokichi wondering what it meant. Probably just a reply of acknowledgement, but he could tell he was thinking long and hard.

"You sound disappointed," he notes.

"No, not really. I'm just… thinking," Shuichi replies quietly.

"About?"

"Well, um… one of our classmates, Kaito, kind of called you a little weird. And, um… I'm thinking that's not really true. Even if you kind of stalked me most of the day." He finishes his sentence with a small chuckle. Somehow still understanding for some reason. It doesn't really make sense.

"For someone pretty much commenting that they were stalked, you seem a bit too carefree about it."

"Well, ah… I don't think you have any ill intentions. Plus, you're kind of interesting. From what I've figured out, anyhow."

Kokichi stops dead in his tracks. Those words strike an all-too familiar chord. The context feels right in a way, like wedging a puzzle piece in the right place. And it… it just makes anything functional immediately stop functioning so he can figure out just why. Why does none of this make any sense but he understands it anyways? "...He's kind of right, I mean."

"I'd prefer to make those assumptions on my own, actually. I'm not really into gossip, to be honest."

"So, what, you want to get to know me or something?" He raises a brow.

"...I wouldn't mind," comes Shuichi's voice, kind and empathetic. It feels familiar and warm, and suddenly the atmosphere shifts to something entirely. The feel of the handle of a knife, fingers spread apart, pink blood. "You're, um, kind of the first person that hasn't really asked over a million questions about me." Something about that statement seems untrue, but Kokichi wasn't sure why.

"That's not your actual reason, is it?" He's staring up again, almost like another challenge. One that he's not in for the reward of winning, but rather the thrill of the chase. He'll never be able to understand why he's so drawn to this mysterious boy, but he was willing to figure it out.

"Ah, you could tell, huh?" Shuichi chuckles awkwardly. Not holding eye contact for more than two seconds before glancing away. "Actually, you seem like someone I'd want to get to know. For some reason. So, um… Yeah." He's extending out his hand, and for some reason that gesture causes the breath in Kokichi's throat to pause.

Because somehow it feels like a barrier of trust had already long been established, unspoken but still existent and important. Like it's a raft in an endless abyss, supportive and sturdy.

Kokichi takes his hand. Shaking it briefly.

"...Nice to meet you, then. Shuichi."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi learns to face his problem head-on. It goes about as well as one would expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> g- guys? where did y'all suddenly come from skdjjshdhd i don't think i've ever gotten this amount of support before and i thoroughly appreciate every bit of it from the bottom of my heart. you guys rock.
> 
> also, exhibit a as to why writing at 2am is a terrible idea :

"I'm gonna kill you."

"Ha! Go ahead and try when you can barely reach my chest." Doesn't stop Kokichi from trying as he lunges forward, only to be held back as evil Rantaro had an effortless grip on the back of his collar.

"Kokichi, I get you're upset—"

"Oh, really? What gave it away?" He shoots an icy glare towards the stupid really tall person that's holding him back.

"—but I'd like to think that killing her might just cause even more problems."

"You'll be next once I'm done with her." The threat phases neither of them; actually, it just makes Miu laugh even harder, slapping her knee in thorough amusement. They're stuck in the gym for a full tortuous hour, dodging stupid blinding balls and trying not to die. Except if he really timed it right, he could definitely kill his two backstabbing friends. Or better yet, have Tenko's competitive spirit kill them.

"Move it or lose it, slowpoke!" she shouts to the poor kid who just got their stomach obliterated by her aim and now has to sit in the sidelines. Kokichi suppresses a shudder just thinking how he could end up being her next victim and instead still attempts to use Miu as a human shield and hopefully get her teeth knocked in.

"Seriously, was it really that bad?" Rantaro asks, arching a brow, still holding onto Kokichi as if he were a toddler.

" _Yes,_ " Kokichi hisses as if it's obvious enough. It was horrible. It was humiliating. It was— well, it was something and he doesn't know so he focuses on the negatives since there's an abundance of negatives he can mope about. And the cherry on top of his own sorrow is that Shuichi just so happens to be in the same hour, sitting in the bleachers while reading and blocking out the whole world. So he might not notice when Kokichi slaughters his stupid inventor friend. And he might just dismantle Kiibo too the next time he sees him.

"And you didn't think to record it, Miu?" Rantaro laughs good-naturedly, but it just makes Kokichi glare at him even harder.

"God, I _wish_. It woulda been the perfect blackmail material, 'cept I knew Kiibo would moan and groan about it." Miu sighs in disappointment, shaking her head. "Wasted potential."

Kokichi resigns to giving up for now since he's clearly not getting anywhere, instead trying to stay alive for the remaining of the hour so he could go home and sulk for as long as he wanted. Honestly, he's not sure why he's mad at his friends. Maybe it's just a convenient emotion to feel so he doesn't have to think about the actual complicated and confused feelings he's feeling right now. There's a lot of them, like he just watched a positive energy get snuffed out and left to rot in an endless sea of pink. "...You guys _suck_ ," he spits out, just to remind himself he's still angry at them.

"And?" The blonde narrowly misses hitting Kirumi as she stares down at the moping toddler. "You're stuck with us forever, y'know. You've already met my parents so there ain't any backin' out."

"You guys and Kiibo seriously have had the weirdest adventures together," Rantaro points out with a light shake of his head. Not even attempting to analyze why that was the case.

"...God, that peach cobbler was really worth the two-hour long trip," he curses, hating himself for really adoring Miu's mother. Angie had long sat out with Himiko, decorating the redhead's arms in little well-crafted doodles, and he focuses on the faint intricate designs so as to not think about the strange incident that occurred today. Maybe Shuichi was just joking. Or maybe it meant a bit more than what Kokichi was hoping for. He doesn't even really know what exactly he's hoping for here.

"Anyways, much as I love harpin' on Cock-ichi's poor love life, I got better matters to talk about." A ball from the opposite team bounces right beside her head and she jumps out of the way with a squeak. It feels like a small dose of revenge, but what would really be fulfilling is if she got pulverized. Slowly.

"It's funny you like to pretend you have a life outside of bullying Kokichi," Rantaro points out, only smiling wider when she scoffs.

"Gettin' him to stop masturbatin' by himself like the pathetic loser he is isn't bullyin', it's bein' _helpful_."

"I beg to differ," Kokichi mutters bitterly. Casting a dumb glance towards the supposed detective, still completely immersed in the book in his hands. Not really sure what to feel because there is no real logical standpoint; just weird jarring images and hope. A lot of it. Too much of it.

"Anyways, guess what month it is?" Miu makes jazz hands to further emphasize its importance.

"Your death-anniversary month?" the supreme leader quips.

"Calm down, edgelord. It's October!"

"Mm. Seems fitting for a death-anniversary." He only receives a patronizing pat on the head from an amused Rantaro.

"Let me guess, you're thinking of throwing a party again this year." Miu nods frantically, to the point her head might fall off; Kokichi almost wishes for that to happen, but is sorely disappointed when remembering they're not in a cartoon.

"A class party! It'll be fuckin' _awesome_ if I can get Ms. Chisa to agree to it. We could decorate the classroom or— oh my god, let's use the gym!"

Rantaro only stares dully at Kokichi. "Are we really gonna forget the last time we decided to hold a class party? The memories are still pretty fresh, y'know."

"How was I supposed to know that chickens hate confetti?"

"We learned a lot that day," Miu shudders. "But this time'll be totally different! Because a certain _someone_ won't pull any pranks this time." Both her and Rantaro stare dead at him.

"You don't own me." He crosses his arms stubbornly. Waste an opportunity to scare the crap out of Maki? Absolutely not. His thoughts are cut off by a sharp burn in his shoulder, and it takes him a second to realize he's become Tenko's latest victim.

"And another degenerate male is out!" she shouts with a triumphant grin, completely oblivious to the damages she might've done to all of the nerves in his arm. "Now march on over to the shame corner, Ouma! Some of us are trying to actually _win_ here."

Miu snickers even as he shoots her another glare. "Have fun, kiddo." He huffs, finally spared from the restraints of physical hell as he takes a seat _far_ from Shuichi, who hadn't once looked up since the hour had started. He tries hard not to think about how he'd like to strike up a conversation like the sappy idiot he is. Because he's not going to get to know a kid who he happens to dream about. A lot. More than what should be considered normal, honestly.

So he's definitely ignoring Miu mouthing towards him to 'make a move, damn it!' all while Rantaro gets swiftly bonked upside the head. Kokichi rolls his eyes at both of them, really poorly failing at denying himself the temptation of getting up and saying hello.

That clearly lasts long.

Before he's really able to stop himself, he's suddenly getting up, one foot in front of the other, and before he knows it he's towering over the detective. His voice fails to work initially, because all he can muster is a small, "Hey."

That seems to be enough to grasp Shuichi's attention, his line of sight still blocked by the brim of his really dumb hat. "Oh! Um, hi. Kokichi." He says the name almost as an afterthought. Shutting the book possibly as a polite gesture.

"Mind if I sit here?" _Please say yes—_

"O-Of course not. Um..." He awkwardly scoots to the side despite there being more than enough room for Kokichi to sit. And the boy sits, a respectable distance that was really breaching the point of awkward. It reminds him that he's not at all sure just what he's hoping for here, and just impulsively going with the next best decision probably won't fare well inevitably.

"...What book are you reading?" he asks before immediately wishing he had never opened his mouth in the first place.

Shuichi jumps lightly as if suddenly remembering he had a book in the first place. "Oh, um… The Sign of the Four. By Arthur Conan Doyle. I-It's, ah, a Sherlock book that was recommended to me by my—"

"Your uncle?" Kokichi quips. That detail seems important for some reason and slips out with too much certainty that it sounds more like a statement than a question. And his words only serve to flash bewilderment across the other boy's face.

"...No. Actually it was… It was my dad. When I last visited him, I mean." That doesn't sound right, and it's biting at Kokichi to figure out why.

" 'Visits'?" He instead pins his attention on that.

"Well, not that it's a sad sob story or anything but… My parents divorced a long time ago and... I live with my mom now. But they're still on good terms and all. Um…" He pauses. "How did you know about my uncle?"

Oh wait, that digs himself into a hole he didn't even see coming. Oh crap. Wait. Why did he say uncle? Kokichi tries not to panic as he searches for a quick excuse that doesn't sound stupid or stalkerish, because he literally knows absolutely nothing about Shuichi Saihara or his family or anything related to that surname. Efforts are pretty futile until—

"Isn't your uncle that famous Saihara detective that's on the news a lot?" Thankfully, he blurts it out in enough time, because it dawns onto him that he really does sound like a stalker. And he's not, because a stalker knows actual in-depth information about the person they're spending so much time on. And he knows little to nothing about this individual, just that they appear a lot in his dreams and that's about it.

"Oh! Yeah, um… He lives in Argentina now, but… yeah." Shuichi seems fine with it, thankfully.

"Lemme guess, he's your inspiration for wanting to become a detective, huh?" Kokichi asks with a light smile, and the other nods vigorously.

"Yeah! Sometimes I would visit over a lot when I was thirteen, fourteen years old and he'd tell me all about the cool cases he's had throughout the years." He sets the book down beside him. "And the more he talked about them and the work he's done to protect others it just-... I dunno, it made me think that I could be capable of doing that. Protecting others. Without wanting anything in return, just… because I could. Because I had that power to."

There's something about Shuichi's words that feel… right. For once. They feel real and meaningful, and Kokichi finds himself hanging onto every word like they're petals flowing in the wind and he won't be able to catch sight of them again.

"Ah… sorry." Shuichi turns his head away. "I, ah… completely diverted the whole conversation. Sorry about that, um…" It's nerdy, but in a way Kokichi understood that it meant a lot to him. That kind of profession requires a lot of heart and courage to face head-on.

The moment seems to stretch for a few seconds, with both boys lacking the resolve to glance at each other. It's like some sort of unspoken gesture, where neither really know what to say. Kind of an awkward moment, but that's okay.

Until it's not.

It's almost in the blink of an eye, suddenly losing the ability to breathe or really think. Those are two main functions you don't typically have to think very hard to do, he'd like to think. And yet staring up at the fluorescent lights, he has to make the effort to do both. It's actually pretty amazing that the human body does a lot of functions that you never have to think about doing, but it felt like his everything just shut down.

It takes a moment, but the searing agony specifically pounding in his skull can only mean one thing - He became another one of Tenko's victims. Again. This time, his face suffered the impact.

Something warm trickles close to his ear, and he's more concerned that blurry figures are invading his already spotty vision. Because that's probably not a good sign, right? He wouldn't know, but this almost feels like death. Like the blurry figures are death come to reap his soul. Well, better now than never. His mom was so not gonna be happy about the fact he wasn't coming home that day.

"Oh my god, is he okay?!"

"Take a wild fuckin' guess, Chabashira, and tell me if that looks okay."

"Jeez, he's bleeding. Hey, hang on, Kokichi, we'll get some help."

"If he's dead, can I have his cool scarf?"

"At worst, he'll suffer a minor concussion, Himiko."

"Yeah, but can I still have it?"

Figures this day would absolutely suck even worse. But that was maybe the second-to-least of his worries, because suddenly his body is levitating, and it's almost really cool if he could keep his eyes open for more than five seconds. This pain feels oddly familiar, except the previous time was less of caving in his skull and more of a deep cut across his forehead. Eh, same difference, right?

Suddenly he's not really wherever he was initially. Now, he's just muttering to himself in thought, holding a document and carefully analyzing it. Stuck, slightly frustrated with himself for a reason he doesn't really understand yet. One step forward in the wrong direction and suddenly his face is connected with the floorboards. That same warm liquid pools around his face at a rapid rate, and for some reason he remains there. Something tells him not to move.

"Hey, ah, is he going to be okay? He looks a bit out of it," says one voice. The kind of velvety soft voice that would tell amazing stories that'd leave you hooked for ages. The kind you'd want to whisper comforting things when you've hit your lowest and couldn't possibly go on.

"Mm, he should be once we take him to the nurse," another voice comments. Kind of breathy and calm, the kind you'd normally hear from an ASMR. Reassuring and nice, but that kind of quality gets overlooked in favor for who they seemed to be at face value.

"He got hit kind of hard, though. By that girl, um…"

"Tenko? Yeah, everyone eventually becomes a victim of her fierce competitive drive, don't worry."

Ah, right. He's not lying on floorboards solving a double-murder or anything, he just got hit in the face by a dodgeball. It's _definitely_ easy to mistake the two. A pained groan vibrates in his throat, and the halls seem to blur with an entirely different place he's never seen before. One decaying with age and covered in growing moss and plant life. Cracked walls and that foreboding sensation that you're never really alone; there's someone always lurking in the shadows.

This place feels reluctantly familiar. And the deadly air nips at his skin.

"Alright, here we are, Kokichi." Someone says his name, but they sound like they're underwater. Far away. Like a phantom. But he can't focus on that because suddenly his back is lying on something kind of akin to cardboard. It's stiff and gritty against his skin, but there's an abundance of it when his palm feels it.

He forces out a chuckle. "...Did I scare you? Were you gonna scream and cry in terror?" he asks a scary version of Maki Harukawa and… a detective. Shuichi. That's his name.

"...Kokichi, what? Hey, are you okay? Can you… Do you know where you are?" That's still Shuichi, right? Mm, it sounds very similar to his voice.

"Jeez, kid, how hard did you hit your head?" That's definitely not Maki. So, where is she? Probably investigating by herself then, huh? This scene doesn't feel like the one that he's familiar with. Except, what _is_ familiar?

Kokichi's upper body finds the strength to sit him up. Lightly touching his forehead only for his fingers to be dyed with a color much too dark to be that normal gross pink stuff. "...Oh, sorry. I'm just a little light-headed from all the blood loss. Yeah, this is real blood." Hopefully they won't feel pity or concern, that would only divert the investigation. Oh, who is he kidding, they hate him through and through.

That was his plan, right?

But… why? What's the point in all this?

"Hey, you should lie down for a second, the nurse is calling your parents. So just hang tight until they get here. Okay?" That's Shuichi again. Right? Right. Yeah, that's his pretty voice that Kokichi could listen to forever. Because it's really soft and regards everyone with such kindness and empathy. How could he not adore that quality?

Suddenly the back of his head is lying down on something soft again, and gentle hands are resting on his shoulders to prohibit him from getting up. Well, that's not very fair. "Hey, come on, focus on me. Um… Can you tell me the last thing you remembered happening?"

Kokichi pauses. The words come out before he can really think about it, even as the pain was pulsating. "I got curious about something, so I decided to search the empty room next door… Th-then suddenly… I-I... stepped through the floorboard."

"You... stepped through a floorboard?" Shuichi parrots in confusion. "Um…"

"That… doesn't sound right." Still not Maki.

"Jeez, that got me good... 'cause of this, I-I tripped and fell pretty hard… I guess... there was no crosspiece supporting the floorboard so I kinda... stepped through… what bad luck…" He chuckles softly, trying hard to downplay the severity of his own injury but probably failing. The lights are really, really blinding that he can barely tell that it's Rantaro and Shuichi in front of him and not Maki and Shuichi.

"Has he lost it?" not-Maki asks in bewilderment.

"No, I… I-I think it's a hallucination…? Or maybe he's just disoriented. Yeah, the latter sounds a little less alarming, I-I suppose, but it would still require medical attention regardless. Um… Hey, Kokichi. Can you- um, sing a nursery rhyme for me?"

"...I'm no doctor, but what for?" Still not Maki.

"Just to bring his concentration back. Do you, um, need me to sing with you, Kokichi? You can also hum as well i-if it's more convenient." Kokichi takes the second option, humming softly one of the lullabies his mom used to sing to him as a child. Some weird feeling blooms in his chest when he can hear, "Yeah. Yeah, that's good, keep going," and Shuichi hums along with him. They're not in tune and the detective is much more reluctant guiding him, but that weird feeling feels intense.

It had to be happiness, or joy. He's not really used to that feeling for some reason.

His eyes feel heavy, like lead is weighing down on them, but his deltoids are lightly shaken in an attempt to keep him awake. "H-Hey, no, don't go to sleep. Try and stay awake for a little longer, okay? Help is coming soon."

"Jeez, I didn't think that Tenko would have the power to put someone through a concussion."

"Well, Kokichi is a bit petite, so it doesn't surprise me much, actually. And he did hit the back of his head again falling down as well." Mm, words. Those should make sense, but he can't really think of anything that makes sense. Like conspicuous blood splatters, the end of the world, and trust. Trusting someone with your fate that you had willingly sealed for the greater good of others you had lied to over and over again.

As soon as the flashback had begun, it had ended. And reflecting back on it, none of it made sense. Rituals, a double-murder, and… a seesaw? His dreams really are getting weirder and weirder.

In front of him, two of his classmates that seem like tall, slender blobs seem to be chatting with another slightly less blurry blob. They're all blobs, mixing and blending together into distant colors. His head is dying, what did Tenko do to him—

He tries sitting up, which seems to catch the attention of the more blue-black blob. "Oh! Kokichi, hey, don't move so much, okay?" And those hands are set on his shoulders again.

"Did… Did Tenko murder me?" It sure feels like his soul had been unattached from his body.

"Well, you seem alive to me," Shuichi chuckles weakly, but his face doesn't get any less blurred. "Just, hang in there. Okay? Your parents were called and they'll be coming to take you to a doctor soon." Sheesh, was the injury really that bad?

"Yay…" Time for his mother to be overbearing, oh golly.

The sea foam blob places a hand on Shuichi's shoulder. "Hey, I can watch over him 'til they come. You can go back to class if you want." _Please say no please sat no please say no pl—_

"Ah, sure. Um, let me know if he's alright, please." _Damn it!_

  
Ah, well, at least he'll get checked out for the day. That had to be a bonus, he supposed. Because this day, without a shadow of a doubt, _sucked._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flurry of confusing emotions lead into the most regrettable sequence of text exchange Kokichi has ever had the displeasure of enduring.

The thing about having overbearing parents is that you get to have an unwilling front row seat to all their rants. Exhibit A : right now.

It's a long ride from the hospital where Mrs. Ouma is stuck in a tug of war between checking to make sure her son is okay and also scolding him for not being careful enough. Sometimes she would switch to talking about how Tenko Chabashira is too reckless, but she mostly focused on him. Unfortunately.

"—wasn't enough to kill you but my god, but she was still a participator—"

"Sweetie, I don't think that's a word." Mr. Ouma goes ignored.

"—just don't get it! You swear you didn't see it coming?"

"No, Mom, I promise I didn't see it coming," Kokichi sighs. But she still continues.

"You worried us sick! Then your friend, that Amami kid, right?"

"Yes, it was Rantaro, Mom."

"—told us that you were talking about falling through a floorboard and that's how you got hurt? But that didn't happen whatsoever? What was _that_ about?"

"Signs of a concussion, possibly?" Mr. Ouma offers, but she waves it away. Sharply turning into their driveway and stomping her foot on the brakes that causes both boys' heads to jerk forward.

"Couldn't be! The doctor went through billions of tests and it came out as a minor head injury. He might have a bump or bruise but other than that he'll be fine." He loves his parents; genuinely, he does, because they're fun people that treat him nice. But when they get worried or panicky, it's almost as if he's not even in the same room (or more accurately car) anymore.

And that's really tiring when he's the topic of the conversation. Because he likes when his voice is heard as well.

"Mom, I feel fine," he assures with a small sigh. "It's just a headache." She nearly rips out the key from the ignition, her bright wide eyes facing him in the form of a glare.

"And it could've been a lot _worse_! Ko, I don't want to have to spend the second half of your childhood visiting you in the hospital again. You promised we were gonna do better."

"And we are! I just got… distracted… and didn't see the ball heading towards my face… and it hit me pretty hard… and I bled a little..." That's a bit of an understatement, actually. And really, he's not sure what caused him to completely zone out. Just that it had to do with Shuichi and that said enough on its own. Probably. The entire incident was confusing enough that any more pondering will only strengthen his headache.

She exhales loosely, a hand sliding down her face. "Please try to be careful." With that said, she's the first to exit, all while Mr. Ouma sighs, melting into his seat.

"Is Mom gonna be okay?" Kokichi hates to ask the question, and his face scrunches up as it zips past his lips. Coercing another sigh from his equally tired father.

"Depends if you let her win during Monopoly tonight," he chuckles softly. "You know she's all frazzled because she cares, right?"

"Yeah." His voice grows faint, and it's like any drive to say much else had quickly depleted. He likes to think his home life isn't bad, but there is a lot of strain ever since he was enrolled into Hope's Peak. He's noticed it, both parents have noticed it, and none have spoken up about it or done anything. A part of him wants to go back to his old high school if it means patching things up again.

So he gives up, unbuckling himself and exiting the car, and his father follows as well.

Entering through the house, he can already sense his mom in the kitchen. Walking around and mindlessly eating marshmallows while probably texting her assistant that yes her accident-prone son is alive and safe. It's almost customary.

"I'm gonna go get my homework done," Kokichi announces in a small tone, but Mrs. Ouma shakes her head.

"Try and get some rest first, okay? I can email your teachers so they're a bit less strict on you." That won't work, because his school is too prestigious that even an accident isn't an excuse, but the gesture is what matters most.

"Thanks, Mom." She tosses him an ice pack from the freezer, which he barely manages to catch, and he presses it to his forehead. "Sorry I'm missing out on game night."

"Eh, no worries, you'll probably hear us yelling at each other and demanding a divorce," Mr. Ouma chuckles lightly, earning a playful jab to the side by his wife. Kokichi takes it as a good sign to head off into his room, finally checking his phone for the first time since the accident. Predictably, his phone had been spammed by his two great, definitely loyal friends.

After shutting his door, he flops into his stomach to scroll through his missed texts, only pausing when he comes across something that causes his brows to rise.

**Unknown :** Hi, is this Kokichi Ouma's number?

He blinks. A part of him telling him not to answer, and all of him directly ignoring his common sense. Typing lazily with one hand while keeping the ice pack to his forehead.

**me :** whos asking???

It takes a couple minutes before there's a next reply.

**Unknown :** Sorry if I sounded foreboding or anything. It's me, Shuichi.

**Unknown :** I just wanted to check up on you to make sure you were okay.

_What._ Kokichi had to read the lines over and over but even then, it didn't feel real. Because that's, like, a grand gesture. Sort of. He doesn't really know how to feel about someone actually checking up on him like this.

**me :** how did u get my #??????

**Unknown :** I was gonna ask for one of your friends to text you for me, but she decided just give me your number instead. I guess to ask you personally?

Oh, someone was nice enough to give away his number— _wait a goddamn minute._ In rapid speed, he directs all of his fury to the one person that decided to continue to ruin his life.

**grape shota changed the chat's name to traitors**

**grape shota** : what. did. u. do. miu.

**Mii-U :** OH SHIT

**Mii-U :** HOW DID YOU FIND OUT

**Kiiboy :** Miu, you aren't inconspicuous.

**grape shota :** look miu i promise it wont hurt

**grape shota :** but im gonna kill u

**Mii-U :** Try it bitch! My rooms on the 2nd floor there's no way your getting to me when you can barely meet the requirements to ride a roller-coaster!!

**grape shota :** okay painful death it is

**Kiiboy :** I am inclined to believe I am faultless in this scenario.

**Mii-U :** No ur not

**Mii-U :** If I gotta die so do you

**grape shota :** its funny how u 2 think im joking

**Kiiboy :** Kokichi, you threaten us on a regular basis, and only deliver on said threats occasionally.

**grape shota :** want me to fix that

**Mii-U :** Why can't you just thank me for once fuck sake

**grape shota :** bc this is literally a huge fuck you towards me and u no it

**Mii-U :** No its not!

**Kiiboy :** Yes, it is.

**grape shota :** yes it is

**Mii-U :** Okay so maybe it is but it's also to tell you to get some like damn please

**Mii-U :** I'm literally overlooking the fact he's emoji just please stop being a sad sack of loneliness for once

**Mii-U :** emo**

Kokichi casually sets his ice pack on top of his nightstand, before proceeding to bury his face into his pillow and screaming as loud as he could. Because this wasn't fair, and he doesn't even know what he's supposed to do. Yet he gets thrown into the mix of pure, unbridled confusion because why not.

It doesn't make sense. It's just plain stupid. The logical thing is to not really engage, because he knows nothing about this person that seemed to pop out of his dreams. And yet he's done exactly that, engage.

**me :** ohhh. well i appreciate it ty

**shuichi :** Sure thing. I was really worried. Did the hospital visit go okay?

**Mii-U :** What's going on????

**Kiiboy :** Miu, you can't participate in Kokichi's love life all the time. You're aware of this, right?

**Mii-U :** If I get to fabricate it then I get to play with it It's like a shiny toy you can't put down

**Kiiboy :** I very much regret adding an input.

**grape shota has muted the traitors chat**

**me :** pretty ok. it was boring but i didnt have any serious issues

**shuichi :** It's good to know you've healed up a little since the nurse's visit. You seemed a little adrift.

**me :** how so

He could barely remember most of what had occurred, just that his dreams had transpired into more bizarre territory. As opposed to just… really scary things he can't explain. Or really describe. Some of them are nice, but most of them are disturbing and he can't seem to suppress them no matter what tactic he tries.

It just serves to torture him. With yearning and paranoia and… hope. That inevitably becomes his own downfall.

**shuichi :** You kind of almost seemed like you were in an entirely different world, like you weren't even addressing me or Rantaro.

_Shiiiit, that's not good that's not good abort mission abort abort abort—_

**me :** jeez was i rlly that out of it?????

**shuichi :** Seems so, haha.

**shuichi :** But, regardless I'm glad that the injury wasn't severe. It kind of looked a little painful.

Oh, it was. He felt his organs shut down (which was weird, because it was his face, not his stomach or something), which might be him being overdramatic. But it only makes sense just how painful it is when you become a survivor of the Ultimate Neo-Aikido Master's inflicted agony. He might need therapy to recover.

**me :** eh im a survivor :P

**shuichi :** That's good. I'd hate to not get to talk to you after we've only met for one day.

Haha, wait what?

**grape shota has unmuted the traitors chat**

**grape shota :** [screenshot]

**grape shota :** GUYS????

**Mii-U :** Dude That's pretty hay

**Mii-U :** Goddamn autocorrect gay****

**Kiiboy :** It would appear he enjoys your company, Kokichi. I fail to see what's so significant about this piece of information. Doesn't it only imply that the two of you are friends?

**Mii-U :** Someday we'll get you laid I promise Kiibs

**Kiiboy :** Miu.

**Kiiboy :** Are you serious?

**Mii-U :** I'm a golden girl genius I'll figure it out

**grape shota :** GUYS.

**Mii-U :** Tell him cool I like you let's go get some coffee or smth

**grape shota :** ok let me find a non-idiot 2 translate this for me

**Kiiboy :** It means he enjoys your company. What is so difficult to process about it?

**Mii-U :** It's a day panic

**Mii-U :** Istfg I'm gonna throw this phone GAY******

**grape shota :** its not a gay panic its me being confused

**grape shota :** bc it makes no sense weve only known e/o for like a couple hours

**Kiiboy :** More accurately, it would be an estimate of five hours and twenty-six minutes given your shared classes. I find that's a reasonable amount to get to know each other, though I doubt you took advantage of that and probably sulked most of the time.

**Mii-U :** And I'm called the stalker

**Kiiboy :** I have to find my own benefit when I have to endure your shenanigans, little did you know.

**grape shota :** GUYS.

**Mii-U :** Calm your tits and just say cool or some shit

**Kiiboy :** I'm sorry if this seems offensive, but Miu, you have more knowledge in relationships than I do. So your advice would more than likely be more appreciated than mine.

**Kiiboy :** Since I'm often alienated for not being human and all.

**grape shota :** WHY DOES IT NEED TO BE ROMANTIC?????????

**grape shota :** U GUYS ARE USELESS

**Kiiboy :** Since when did I imply it was a romantic relationship?

**grape shota :** watch it or ill replace u with a roomba

**Kiiboy :** You wouldn't.

**grape shota :** watch. me.

**Mii-U :** Stop stop I'm gonna piss myself

**Mii-U :** You two are so helpless I'm fucking crying over here lmfao

**grape shota has muted the traitors chat**

This is a dilemma. Wait, is it? How come? Suddenly Kokichi can't really process just why he's fretting over this, and yet his thumbs can only hover over the keys he's supposed to be using to communicate. Words make no sense anyways, he should just use emojis instead.

Why is he so worked up over this?

**me :** aw. im so touched.

**grape shota has unmuted the traitors chat**

**grape shota :** i hate my life

**Kiiboy :** Kokichi, we're well-aware.

**grape shota has muted the traitors chat**

**me :** sooo aside from me almost dying how did ur day go???

**shuichi :** Oh, it was pretty good! I kind of got lost a lot but the class representative helped me a lot with my schedule. My parents also seem happy that I'm adjusting as well, though they probably won't be very happy to know I haven't made too many friends.

**me :** aw am i ur only friend

**shuichi :** Well, yeah, actually.

He's not sure why he's getting riled up. Or what this oddly familiar heat that rises in his chest means. Because as soon as his phone rests on his bed, his face is plunged right into his pillow and he's screaming again. Purging out these dumb confusing feelings he _has_ to be mistaking with everything weird in his life. Shuichi is weird enough; he's the exact same from his dreams. A detective with golden eyes and a dumb hat, and has the same kindness and timidity that's…

That feels familiar. He hates that word, because it doesn't resolve anything. It doesn't explain all the images he sees or what any of them mean. It doesn't explain what he feels when it comes to Shuichi. He's just aware he's felt this before, but there's no real memory to trace it back to.

**me :** but u met kaito

**shuichi :** Well, that's more of a persuaded friendship. It's kind of hard to explain. I'm not sure, I just enjoyed talking to you today. Even if you did almost land a concussion.

**me :** but we have a kaede in our class

**me :** im just trying to wrap my head around this bc come on

**me :** kaede akamatsu

**me :** how can u not be friends w/ her

**shuichi :** Okay, maybe I was exaggerating a little, haha.

**me :** called it

**shuichi :** Sorry. Everyone in our class is nice, but I guess it felt a little nice you didn't really ask over a million questions to try and get to know me. So I kind of talked to you a bit more than I talked to most of our other classmates. And, our meeting was kind of unprecedented but I still stand by what I said that I don't think you have any ill intentions. You're strange, but I don't think that's a bad thing at all.

Was- Was that a _compliment_?

Kokichi has had compliments in the past. From teachers praising his grades, to his parents that dote on him very much throughout the years, to maybe a classmate every now and then telling him good job for helping or something. But not this. And somehow it… was important anyways.

Those words held more meaning than he would be able to put into words. Because there's no rhyme or reason to the intuition that tells him these things, tells him to learn more about this student. There's no words that can be used to express anything, when the things he knows are just a chip of a vast awareness he's yet to grasp. He may never grasp it; he may be subjected to oblivion for his whole life.

And he doesn't understand it.

But he wants to.

So his fingers speedily type out a response : im taking that as a complement u know

**shuichi :** Go right ahead.

**shuichi :** I better head to bed soon. I didn't mean to divert the conversation again, I originally just meant to check on you to make sure you were okay. Are you gonna be okay enough to come to school tomorrow?

**me :** yep yep yeppers i never miss any days at school so look forward to it

**shuichi :** I will. Goodnight, Kokichi.

Somewhere in a distant neighborhood, a scream emerges. Specifically muted by a thick pillow, but it still exists. Similar to how a tree falls in a forest; did it actually fall if no one was around to witness it? Did he actually scream if no one is up to hear it?

It's good that no one can hear him, because he would have no way to explain just what he is screaming for. What, over some nice compliments? No, they meant a little more than that and he's not sure just why he's latching onto them like some sort of life source. It's not like he's been deprived of kindness or something.

**grape shota has unmuted the traitors chat**

**Mii-U :** Come on Kiibo just this once

**Kiiboy :** I don't think it's a good idea, Miu.

**Mii-U :** No one has to know

**Mii-U :** It can just be our little dirty secret

**grape shota :** what in gods name did i just stumble upon

**Kiiboy :** Hell.

**grape shota :** ah.

**grape shota :** so do u guys know the quickest way to get sick

**Kiiboy :** I'd say catching up on our past conversation would do.

**Mii-U :** Don't get your panties in a twist Kiibo

**Mii-U :** And didn't you just get your head bashed in today

**grape shota :** ya and???

**Kiiboy :** You are avoiding something, are you?

**Mii-U :** OHOHOHO

**Mii-U :** SOMEONE'S A LITTLE FLUSTERED ABOUT A CERTAIN EMO AREN'T THEY

**grape shota :** climbing up ur house now

**Mii-U :** Like you could reach over the backyard fence

**Kiiboy :** What was so distressing about the conversation with Shuichi that you want to avoid him?

**grape shota :** i didnt think that far ahead tbh

**Mii-U :** Figures you'd still be a lying little abortion

**Kiiboy :** I'm going to ignore the logistics of that comment.

**Kiiboy :** Instead, I'm more curious about how the conversation went.

**grape shota :** and im more curious as too what this dirty little secret btween u and miu is

**Mii-U :** Don't. Say. Anything.

**Kiiboy :** He can read the chat, Miu.

**Mii-U has deleted a message**

**Mii-U has deleted a message**

**Mii-U has deleted a message**

**Mii-U has deleted a message**

**Mii-U has deleted a message**

**Mii-U has deleted a message**

**Mii-U :** You were saying

**Kiiboy :** Okay, Miu.

**grape shota :** ykw ive learned to not question anything anymore but im more concerned about what i should do for tmrw

**Mii-U :** Go to school

**grape shota :** no

**Kiiboy :** He's recently transferred. You can't really avoid him for very long, which begs the question as to why you're doing so in the first place.

**grape shota :** reasons a robot like u wouldnt understand

**Kiiboy :** That marks the fifty-seventh robophobic remark overall.

**Mii-U :** Look man why don't you just go talk to him it's not the end of the world

**grape shota :** weve had this convo b4 miu

**grape shota :** its not. that. easy.

**Mii-U :** Why

**grape shota :** hes just. nice.

**Mii-U :** Gay

**Mii-U :** OH MY FUCKING GOD IT FINALLY STOPPED AUTOCORRECTING JESUS CHRIST I HATE THIS PHONE

**grape shota :** y would an inventor have problems with a phone

**Mii-U :** Not answering that

**grape shota has screenshot the chat**

**grape shota has added recent screenshot to blackmail folder**

**Mii-U :** Fuck

**Kiiboy :** I would stick around longer but I need to charge my batteries for tomorrow. Goodnight.

**Kiiboy is offline**

**Mii-U :** My cue to go too I still got homework to finish on

**grape shota :** wait miu

**grape shota :** dont go wait im desparate

**Mii-U :** Tell me something I don't know

**grape shota :** your insufferable

**Mii-U :** Have fun with your boytoy tomorrow <3

**Mii-U is offline**

**grape shota :** im destroying the robotics lab tmrw

**grape shota is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3am writing back at it again. honestly this was more of a filler and i typically try to avoid that but i wanted to mark off some of the baby ideas in my list so i felt like i had some kind of progress. i am tired.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a battle of hatred and helplessness, but for some reason Kokichi is all in for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> agh— happy birthday you crazy purple king. you brought me into this fandom and i still kind of will always hate and love you for it.
> 
> ahem, take this much longer-than-usual chapter as a gift. i suppose. i wanted to write two chapters but since the 3am bit had me exhausted for a couple of days, this was all i could work with. super sorry about that.

School is normal. Well, as normal as it can get when you have a robot and an entomologist for classmates. Kokichi is used to blending into the background and not interacting, because there's no real reason for him to. Not to mention he's much too tired throughout the day from all his heavy nights of stress and enigmatic nightmares.

School no longer feels normal now. It's only been a day since something strange had happened, but now there's something about the air that feels much lighter. Like something new had been brought to the table; something impactful. Something that might just rectify the problems weighing on his crumbling shoulders.

Oh, who is he kidding, Shuichi isn't made of magic.

Speaking of which, the dumb detective had made it inside the classroom with a more brisk-speaking Tenko, who- oh god, lights up when her eyes catch Kokichi sitting innocently at his assigned seat and doodling. Praying she doesn't come closer oh god she's coming closer please don't kill him he didn't do anything—

A bottle is slammed onto the surface of his desk, causing him to jump ten inches out of his skin. He completely missed the transition from her standing near the door to towering over him currently. "Your friend Miu told me you liked this stuff so- here! Take it!" Even if it was rat poison, he'd guzzle it down to avoid getting pummeled to a bloody pulp. He can never erase the memories of what became of poor, poor Korekiyo.

Oh, wait, it's not rat poison. He finally glances at it, the bottle labeled 'grape Panta'. Oh. Oh!

"Is- this, like, an apology for yesterday?" he dares asking. Okay, maybe he's being a little overdramatic. But Tenko is terrifying, and he literally started hallucinating after she hit him with a stupid dodgeball. And those things are designed to not be so painful. Meanwhile he's sure that he saw Death itself and it… looked like six multicolored stuffed bears.

"What else would it be? Look, take the thing and- hope your head feels better! I'm going to leave now!" Cheeks dyed a deep red, she hurries off to join Ryoma and Angie and doesn't dare look behind her. Apparently a signal for Shuichi to approach, who's chuckling softly.

"She was really worried about you since yesterday," he notes with another small laugh. Pausing for a brief moment. "...How's your head feeling?"

Kokichi lifts up his bangs to reveal the small bandage plastered over his forehead. "Peachy," he remarks dryly, uncapping his beloved soda and taking a long, satisfying swig from it.

"That's good." His lips stretch into a smile, shoulders wilting in relief. "Tenko was really scared when she found out you had to go to the hospital. Though, I doubt she'll say it upfront; sorry about that."

The supreme leader places the soda down. "It wasn't _that_ bad."

"...You hallucinated into thinking you stepped through a floorboard and that's how you got injured, Kokichi."

"...Well, it could've been worse," he tries. "Still, ah, thanks. For helping me out."

"...Sure thing." Shuichi's little smile grows wider. It brightens his mien by a colossal amount, and Kokichi selfishly finds his heart wanting to look into his eyes. Before realizing that's a really dumb thought and he slams the soda into his mouth so he had something else to think about. Like how fizzy the soda was; Tenko must have bought it recently from the vending machine down the hall.

Then Shuichi glances down. "Oh, uh… You're an artist?" And Kokichi nearly spits out his drink realizing that he was openly doodling and _Shuichi freaking Saihara_ noticed it.

He swallows thickly. "Not really, since Angie over there is the artist of the class." He gestures to the white-haired girl, who's allowing Ryoma and Tenko and Himiko to decorate her knee-length stockings with Sharpies. "I just doodle or something until Miu and Kiibo get here, really." It's no coincidence that those two idiots aren't here at the usual time they are.

"Well, um… I like it." His voice lowers to a near indecipherable mumble as his head turns away. The doodle is, thankfully, just a clown mask that Kokichi's 'organization' often wears. Lazily drawn and clearly just meant to fill in time, so he doesn't really understand the compliment. Or why it feels customary, these interactions. When they've barely met a full day.

Then, it happens.

It feels instantaneous, like he's forced to witness the worst of the worst after he was so mistakenly assured the storm had passed. No, instead he's snatched by the treacherous wind, thrashed about in a whirlwind of hate and demise, and left to intake a breath of relief only to suffer more just when he believes he has been spared. The mere thought of things turning out fine was just a distant dream, nonexistent and unrealistic to dare hope for.

Miu claps a hand on Shuichi's shoulder.

And all that passes through Kokichi's head is _oh god that can't be good why is she smiling like that what is she planning there's too many witnesses I can't kill her right now what is she doing where did she come from where's Kiibo I'm terrified what is she going to do—_

"Heeey, emo kid! So I see you've been buddy-buddy with the little pipsqueak here!" Her words come out dripping with sugary sweetness. A small glance cast towards Kokichi, and her eyes are lit up in pure evil as she continues to smile wider and wider.

Shuichi is completely oblivious to the true horror he's about to be subjected to as he smiles shyly. "Um… Well, mostly because I wanted to check on him and all…" he tries defending.

"Well that's good! He could always use a new friend, after all! He's a total shut-in most of the time anyways. Say, why don't you join us for lunch? Kiibo and I haven't gotten the chance to know you yet and I'm sure a certain little troglodyte would appreciate it anyways, riiiight?" She innocently blinks at Kokichi, who's frozen stiff in his seat to avoid doing something he wouldn't really regret.

_Why are you torturing me?_ his eyes ask her pleadingly. "Yeah, we wouldn't really mind." Except he minds. He _very_ much minds that Miu is shoehorning him with Shuichi because… why?

"Ah… If you really don't mind, then… Um, sure," Shuichi agrees softly, and it takes every bit of energy and self-restraint within Kokichi to not slam his already-injured head on his desk. Because Miu was _winning._

"Great!" Miu chirps with too much devilish enthusiasm. "Oh, word of advice." She leans in to Shuichi's ear, her voice much too low and quiet that what she whispered couldn't be heard in the slightest. Especially with the chatter and moving around them. Whatever it was, though, it causes his face to blossom in a bright red.

"W-Wait, um… I don't think that's a great idea—"

"Trust me, you'll thank me later," she promises with too much certainty. Patting his back encouragingly. "You got this, kid. Just try it and you'll see."

"O-... Okay…" No, not okay, Shuichi.

Miu grins evilly, finally letting go of him. "See you two simps later during lunch!" she chirps, giving the boys a loose salute as she finally, _finally_ decided to bother some other unfortunate soul. Sorry, Kirumi.

Whatever Miu had said was still very clearly stuck on Shuichi's mind as he remains in place. Still in front of Kokichi's desk and not really saying anything, though his lips tremble as if preparing himself to say something.

"Uh—" Kokichi doesn't even have the chance to utter anything.

"I-I-I'll see you during lunch!" the detective blurts, before awkwardly shuffling to his seat. Oh god. What did she do? What just happened? Needless to say, Kokichi was genuinely terrified and he made it more prominent as he hurriedly texted the she-devil.

**grape shota :** miu wtf did u do pls tell me

**Mii-U :** Oh you'll see ;)))))

**Kiiboy :** It appears I shouldn't have left you two by yourself again.

**grape shota :** and why DID u let this demon do what she wanted

**Kiiboy :** I prefer not to explain. I wouldn't want you to suspect I actually have a life outside our friendship.

**Mii-U :** No you don't

**grape shota :** no u dont

He sets down his phone with a rough sigh. Trying hard to focus on drawing to keep his mind occupied but his stupid traitorous eyes would drift up to see Shuichi, stiffly talking to Kaede.

He genuinely does not want to find out what Miu had done, but his curiosity wouldn't leave him alone. It kept prodding at him even as Ms. Yukizome entered and started class, and he couldn't really stop even as class progressed. It doesn't stop even as the next class starts, or the next one, or the next one.

Don't get him wrong; his friends have most certainly screwed him over in the past before. Take the time Kiibo forced him to study all night or when Miu did pretty much everything she already does. And he screws them over just as equally, with all his teasing towards them because they're nerds,

This feels different for a reason he doesn't really know all that well. Actually, he's not really sure just why he's anxious over a person he just met, even if that same person was featured in many of his nightmares and the resemblance was nearly identical. But that same dumb instinct to get closer was really the one thing that was screwing him over the most.

It's that same instinct that tells him to avoid Kaito, the same one that tells him to not interact with the others in general. The same one that teaches him to lie on the spot or do things he doesn't typically do. Like there's just some sort of natural order and- he doesn't get it. These things aren't supposed to be this confusing and complicated and interwoven with dreams and memories he can't explain.

Yet they are. And Shuichi Saihara is somehow connected to all of it. That's why it's so hard to not be interested in him, to want to get closer in hopes it'll provide some sort of answer he's badly wanted for too long. Maybe then he'll finally sleep a full night for once if he can do that.

So Kokichi puts on his big boy pants and heads straight for the cafeteria after his last class is discharged. Of course he's scared out of his wits, because the dreams and uncharacteristic thoughts always seem to interfere no matter what. Not to mention Miu had clearly done something and he shuddered to think just what.

It doesn't really come as much of a surprise when neither Miu nor Kiibo are at their usual table, and he's left to sit by himself until the man of honor arrives. He pretty much expected this since she'd offered for Shuichi to sit at their table; she isn't as slick as she pretends to be.

**grape shota :** my god pls dont tell me u did what i think u did miu iruma

**Mii-U :** You'll thank me I promise

**grape shota :** ill thank u even more if u dont leave me here

**Kiiboy :** Unfortunately, she made sure we were held hostage by our science teacher. We won't be going anywhere for the whole hour.

**grape shota :** guys please i promise never to tease or prank u guys ever again scouts honor

**Kiiboy :** I wish I had the ability to cry.

**Mii-U :** Kiibo some sacrifices have to be made for the greater good

**Kiiboy :** Why does my sanity have to be one of them?

**grape shota :** im literally begging pls i hate socializing

**Mii-U :** Well that's gonna be a bit awkward then

**Mii-U :** But perks of being a matchmaker They should give me the title of Ultimate Matchmaker I'd be a pro at it

**Kiiboy :** That talent is already taken by a third-year, Miu.

**Mii-U :** And we got two detectives what's your point

**grape shota :** GUYS PLEASE

**Mii-U :** You'll live now go get some

**Kiiboy :** If the no pranks and no teasing offer is still up I'll gladly take it.

"Oh, uh- Hey. Kokichi." The supreme leader does his best not to visibly tense up, but that's probably not very easy to master. Shuichi is standing across the table, yet another book in hand and not even bothering to lift his head to let his eyes been seen behind the brim of his really dumb hat. God, that hat is so stupid. "...Where are, um, Miu and Kiibo?"

About to turn up missing. "...Teacher held them back," he replies a little awkwardly, shutting off his phone and pushing it into his back pocket.

"Oh… s-so it's- just us, then?"

"...Seems so."

"Well, ah… I can- I can leave if you want. Um, I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything—"

"You're not." Yes he is.

"Oh. Um, good." A brief pause. Shuichi clearly isn't very used to situations like this. "...Should I sit here?" After a small nod, he does so, mechanically settling into the seat directly across from Kokichi. There's a notable uncomfortable air suffocating the two of them, and neither had no idea how to release the awkward tension.

"...Nice weather we're having…?" Kokichi stupidly attempts, mentally slapping himself for opening his big trap with a really pointless conversation topic. But it at least compels out a chuckle from the detective.

"Ah, true. It's, well, been a bit chilly since we're nearing winter and all. Which is a bit inconvenient since it's nearing Halloween and all."

"...Do you celebrate?"

Shuichi pauses in thought. "Sometimes. My dad isn't really a big holiday kind of guy but my mom and I usually hand out candy to the neighborhood kids each year. Um, what about you?"

"We kind of just carve pumpkins and call it a day, unless Miu forces Kiibo and me to go to some party." He rolls his eyes, propping his elbow on the table and leaning his chin into his palm. Really not sure what to make of this odd forced conversation. Neither participant feels very right in all of this and it shows all too well.

"Oh- You carve pumpkins?" There's some sort of childish wonder in Shuichi's eyes that's… Okay, it's kind of adorable. Kokichi pulls out his phone and selects the gallery, where Shuichi can view all the pumpkin-related pictures taken. Many of them were as old as ten years ago where his parents had sent them after he got his first phone. Some had Miu and Kiibo flashing their own creations with proud grins beside him and his parents.

"Wow…" Shuichi might be a little too in awe over pumpkins, but something about his interest as he swiped through each picture after thoroughly analyzing them felt… a little nice. And resonated hard within Kokichi. "Ah, are those your parents?" He gestures to the picture of the three when Kokichi was maybe seven years old.

"Yeah," he confirms with a light smirk. "I look adopted, don't I?" The joke appears to completely fly past Shuichi's head.

"Actually, no. You guys seem really… happy. Together, I mean." Hm, that might be how it looks at face value, but Kokichi hated to admit that there really has been quite a few underlying issues. But he wasn't going to ruin the mood even as he received his phone back. "I've never really done much on Halloween aside from just handing out candy or watching silly cartoons, so that's really neat," Shuichi chuckles softly, sliding the phone across the table to its rightful owner.

"Never pegged you for the cartoon type," Kokichi remarks jokingly. Pocketing the device again.

"Normally, no. Since I spend a lot of my free time just studying, except when I visit my dad. Then we usually watch TV together so we can bond together. Other than that, I… kind of don't really do a lot during holidays." He shrugs loosely.

"Not even during, like, Christmas or New Year's?" Kokichi raises a brow.

"Well, not really, no. Not that it's bothered me much, since I… well, kind of don't have a lot of people to celebrate with." Shuichi sheepishly rubs the back of his neck.

"...You don't?" Not that that piece of information isn't very surprising. Shuichi doesn't seem very sociable in the slightest.

"...Yeah," he murmurs, ducking his head so his eyes aren't visible again. "I-It's… not a _bad_ thing, I just—… don't really know how to talk to people…"

"Well, I feel special," Kokichi chuckles, but in actuality he really did. Which was stupid.

"There's, ah… something about you. That makes it easy to talk to you, I guess… But the other classmates, I mean…" He casts a longing glance towards Kaito's table, who's happily talking to people from other classes. "They all have larger-than-life personalities and… well, here I am bringing just about nothing to the table."

An idea sprouts in Kokichi's head, one that he knows he shouldn't entertain. Because if he does then that's just _begging_ for unnecessary human interaction. He's not close to a lot of his classmates, just Miu and Kiibo and maybe even Rantaro, so this was a terrible idea to do.

So he does it : "You should maybe come to our Halloween party." That's all he says, no context or build-up to his sudden proposition. Just completely unprompted and stupid.

Shuichi blinks. "...Um. What?"

"Miu likes to convince our teacher to let us borrow the classroom for the day to throw a small party." Kokichi hates that he's trying to explain any of this. Because the more that he's entertaining this idea is the more he's getting himself involved. "If you want to try and get to know everyone else, there's a good start."

"Well, I- I mean that's not… That's not a bad idea, I just—… Well, I just- Well-" Shuichi is clearly flustered about the idea, short-circuiting as he attempts to find a feeble excuse to turn it down. "...Are you sure? I mean- I don't really go to a lot of parties so… yeah."

No, he isn't sure in the slightest. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"...But—" He sighs and tries again. "I-I wouldn't know what to say o-or what to bring, I—"

"You can just wear a costume and bring some candy. There isn't a whole lot that we do anytime we throw parties. Just eat candy and watch some movies from Ms. Yukizome's computer." He shrugs. "I think it might be a good opportunity for you to spend time with the others."

"It… It might but— I-I dunno, will it? I just- It's during class?"

"Well, yeah. Principal's always cool with it. But you could always just hang at the library during then if you want," Kokichi points out. This causes Shuichi to pause in thought, weighing out the options as his lips twitch.

"...I might… think about it…" he murmurs with blatant uncertainty.

"Miu and Kaede might force you to regardless. They even make Ryoma go and he rarely speaks to anyone except Angie. So, it's probably better I offer for you to go before they chain you to your desk and make you watch _It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown_ on loop for the rest of the day _._ " The image apparently seems amusing, because Shuichi laughs. Not chuckles, not giggles, he _laughs._ It's a sound that completely lacks any of its usual softness and reluctance.

"Okay, okay, I-... I might go. My mom might be happy to hear I'm actually socializing anyways," he chuckles softly. "Um… what do you plan on dressing up as?"

Kokichi could think of quite a few ideas already, but something tells him not to bring it up immediately. "Mm, not telling. Guess you'll have to find out on Halloween." Shuichi's brows raise.

"Oh, really now?"

"Yep." It's a challenge, for some odd reason. But a part of him thinks the detective would like puzzles and games.

"I guess I'll take you up on that offer." Again, he laughs, albeit much more gentler than the previous time. It's weird, it's just a small laugh but it just makes Kokichi feel… lighter. In a way. This whole conversation had made him feel lighter and in want for something that he doesn't really know or understand. But he wants it more than anything.

Suddenly, Shuichi's eyes light up in delayed realization. "Oh-! Um, do you want to go to the library with me…?" he asks, suddenly timid all over again. And in comes what Miu probably crafted.

Kokichi's brow narrows. "How come?"

"Well, um- I figured i-it's a bit loud in here and… yeah…" Lie. Well, it _is_ loud, but that's not why Shuichi suddenly wants to leave. It's because of whatever Miu had told him that morning, which Kokichi had been dreading finding out from the word go.

"...Sure…" As much as he didn't actually want to, his curiosity refused to let him live in peace. The worst part was that barely over ten minutes had passed during their conversation, so more than enough time was left over during lunch. So his fate is pretty much sealed as Shuichi stands stiffly from his seat, and both boys are suddenly leaving the cafeteria.

Kokichi is doing most of the leading since he knows his way around better, but of course he's not really ready to find out what Miu did. He made that point obvious enough as he quickly shot his friends a text. Miu only seemed entertained and wouldn't explain and that was it.

"S-Sorry. You don't have to come, I just…" Shuichi trails off and doesn't finish, clearly embarrassed having asked in the first place. _Iruma, I swear to god if you did something bad so help me I'll—_

"It's fine," he assures, even if it probably wouldn't be in the slightest very fine. Maybe it would and he was just being dramatic. Except he knows it has to do with a little more than just being dramatic. Because he willingly put himself in this situation where he gets to know Shuichi, for a reason that doesn't really make any sense from a logical standpoint. "...Miu put you up to this, didn't she?"

"...How obvious was it?" Shuichi sighs in defeat.

"...A bit. Do I get to find out what she told you to do?"

"Ah- she, um, told me not to say," he mumbles quietly. Well, that's fantastic.

They reach the library, earning a chipper greeting from the librarian particularly aimed towards Shuichi. Seems they had gotten along from yesterday, which was kind of a nice thought.

That nice thought dissipates entirely as Shuichi pushes a couple of beanbags together propped up against a vacant bookshelf, very much hinting at the two of them sitting beside each other.

_Miu you piece of absolute—_

Shuichi sits in his own respective one, while Kokichi settles into the other. Rigid and uncomfortable and oh god they're really close together this feels really scary holy hell. "...Sorry. About everything," Shuichi mutters. "You can- You don't have to stay, I won't tell your friends or anything, um…"

Kokichi wants to scream, but he suppresses it as he tries hard to relax into the beanbag chair. There's no reason to be so apprehensive, right? Something within him absolutely loves this attention, and he hates that part of him and stuffs it way deeper down in retaliation. "I'm just curious as to what Miu told you," is all he can really say, because it's true.

"Well, um… I-It's complicated. She just- said it'd help. You, I mean." That's a bit vague, and it only makes Kokichi more confused and in want for some sort of answer. But, maybe it's fine not having any answers right now. It's not like prodding will solve anything right this moment.

So Kokichi musters a small shrug, pulling out his journal from his bag to maybe draw to pass the time. While Shuichi flipped through his book, though lingered on the same pages for much too long. Yeah, this entire encounter was really awkward and it absolutely _showed._

Neither can really say anything, so Kokichi focuses intently on sketching some part of one of his dreams that involves a casino machine. He's not really sure what the importance of it is, maybe has to do with his cousin who's a gambler, but he may never know. Dreams are pretty finicky, and his are no different.

They're haunting, and just when he thinks he has some sort of answer, the rug is snatched from directly under him and he's left searching again. They have to mean something. All of this has to have some sort of explanation, and he might just for once—just once—have one normal night of rest and solace if possible. If all of his underlying problems are laid to rest after he solves them, and he doesn't have to think about being crushed and forgotten in a sea of jarring magenta.

It takes a moment before he finally figures out what Miu had in mind, and he immediately hates her entire existence. Quiet environment, soft chairs, little movement? It's no wonder he finds himself drifting pretty easily, his body thanking him for actually getting some form of rest for once in the past few weeks. Pretty clever, he won't lie, but he hated it.

Kokichi can't hold back a small yawn, and Shuichi notices it. "...Sorry," the supreme leader murmurs, trying hard to stay upright but the temptation of falling into rest is too good to ignore.

"You can- um, sleep, if you want to," Shuichi whispers softly. Expectant of the predicament, because he was informed of it. Of course he was.

"That's… kinda rude…"

"I don't mind. I can wake you up when it's- time to leave. If you want." The offer sounds great, a perfect solution to every problem that ever existed in the universe ever, and Kokichi resigns. His head falls against the detective's arm with a small 'thanks…' and he's completely out, which he badly hates.

Except he didn't. He doesn't actually hate it at all, and that's the part that really doesn't make sense. Because he knows nothing about Shuichi, just little facts and observations. Yet he knew him well in all those confusing dreams, and he's yearning for this kind of attention. Playing all sorts of games to gain it at the expense of a plan that would make everything worth it in the end.

But that Shuichi isn't this Shuichi, and it's stupid to get them mixed up. It's stupid to drop his head against the poor boy's arm, completely passed out. It's stupid to feel his heart jump as he can tell Shuichi relaxes slightly and continues to thumb through pages of his book. It's stupid to enjoy this, not knowing a single thing about this boy who he'd just met.

But they've met before, and Kokichi is sure of it. Maybe that's why it's so easy to trust him. Maybe that's the part of him that might get him hurt. And maybe that's the part of him that doesn't care if he does.

Because there's something about Shuichi Saihara that makes it worth it all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi is confused, but also open to murder suggestions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm just gonna,,,, pretend i didn't work on this chapter for a month. i didn't forget about this fic, i promise, i just got,,,,,,,, distracted,,,,,
> 
> yet somehow i still got support anyways. like, wow. you guys are wild but ily anyways.
> 
> take my offering, i'm hopefully working on the next chapter and it won't take three years sjdhdhvdvd

Maybe this whole situation isn't as weird and scary as Kokichi makes it out to be. Or maybe it's much worse than what he deluded himself into thinking it was.

Or maybe it's all confusing. Maybe it's just one of those things that don't have answers and he needs to stop searching for it.

But then he won't ever sleep, so searching it is.

He's doing that now, even when he's meant to be socializing with the two friends that took time out of their day to see him. And also drag him out of his house. And disregard that what they did makes them both trash people.

"It wasn't that bad," Miu proposes stubbornly. Leaning back into her seat with arms crossed as if her stance would make her point any less nonsensical. If the three weren't in a food court, then Kokichi would've gladly explained in full detail why she was sorely wrong, but he only snatched a French fry from her plate in retaliation. "Hey—!"

"It  _ was  _ bad!" he huffs. "You take my social life and— twist it around like it's a toy and- and-" He can barely vocalize his own frustration, but it doesn't really stop him from trying anyways. Violently sipping his milkshake and glaring daggers at Miu.

"Again, it's like a shiny toy that you can't put down! Cut me some damn slack already."

"Can you two go just one day without arguing?" Kiibo sighs, carefully observing his two friends as if toddlers that would break something if unsupervised.

"Can Cock-ichi go one day without bein' a little bitch?"

"Can you go one day without being a whore that plays with herself every weekend?" he shoots back. Lacking the bite that would maybe get her to shut up, because she only rolls her eyes.

"Look, you should thank me for helpin' you get some sleep for once. You look like a zombie," she points out. And yes, she's kind of right that his nights are so stupidly merciless that a part of him kind of appreciated the small nap.

But that happened without his permission and likely made things even  _ more _ awkward between the two boys. Which Kokichi did not try to rectify, as he proceeded to avoid him since then. "You literally only did it to force us together," he curses.

"Nah, that was just a bonus." Of course it was.

Kiibo emits a low sigh. "One  _ normal _ Saturday is all I ask for." As he laments over his grief, his gaze directs over to Miu specifically, who throws her hands up.

"Hey, don't look at me! I'm not doin' a goddamn thing 'cept innocently eatin'." She loosely gestures to her plate of fries that she had barely touched.

"And  _ I _ didn't do anything except become a victim," Kokichi huffs, crossing his arms. In a way, he liked to think none of this was as severe as he made it out to be, but if it were that simple then he wouldn't have so little sleep every night. He'd take medication if he didn't already use the majority of his night cramming for stupid tests just to keep his mother smiling.

"Kokichi, you always cry victim," Kiibo points out, unamused. Then again, when is he even amused?

"Maybe because I am one."

"Easy there, drama queen." Miu lazily reaches across to pat his shoulder, but he only stubbornly glares at her. "Look, if you stop bein' a little bitch baby, I promise to buy you that gross soda shit later today."

"...Sweeten the pot a little more."

"Three, and… I'll throw in some candy or somethin'." Hm, that seems doable.

"So, how's everyone's day so far?" Kokichi asks, completely changing the topic. It's a bit comedic to see both Miu and Kiibo blink twice over his sudden change of heart.

"...It's barely the afternoon." Kiibo almost feels ridiculous having to point it out. Almost like their group ironically couldn't function without arguing all the time.

"I'll tell ya what's so wrong with this day!" Prompted, Miu slaps a hand on the table, nearly toppling over Kokichi's milkshake in the process. "Kaediot added me to this weird-ass group chat and I have no idea how she even got my number.."

"Kaediot...? Wait, Kaede?"

"Gee, I wonder how it feels to have someone have my number for seemingly no real legitimate reason," Kokichi mutters bitterly.

"No, look, if I wanna do this party for Halloween, Kaediot is definitely my only best bet to gettin' to Ms. Chisa. Since, well, the last time we did a party, it ended up a major disaster." Both friends stare directly at the culprit responsible.

"Hey, Himiko was involved too and yet  _ I'm  _ the one who's at fault?" Kokichi rolls his eyes, not a fan of the discrimination. It's because he's short, isn't it?

"Kokichi, you planned it out. It was a pretty violent scuffle, remember?"

"And we all had to clean the courtyard for a  _ month _ thanks to you!" Miu suppresses her disgust in favor of glaring at him. "I can't even look at gum normally anymore."

"I wouldn't have ever thought I'd be physically repulsed by food I couldn't even eat." Kiibo shakes his head. "Worst of all, it's not even the first time you've done that." He glances over at Kokichi.

He rests his chin in his palm with a satisfied smile. "You never answered my question, Kiiboy."

"Lasagna is  _ not  _ spaghetti-flavored cake, for the last time."

"Hm. Seems like something a liar would say."

"Anyways, the more energetic classmates of ours could  _ definitely  _ fix this issue. I'm still questionin' how she got my number but it's impeccable timin'!"

"...Wouldn't the more reasonable students be able to sway Ms. Yukizome instead?" the robot proposes instead, but she only shakes her head stubbornly. "They're least likely to get on her nerves from being pestered relentlessly."

"Nope. We need the stubborn ones to hound her until she eventually gives in! People like you and Kirumi would give up immediately after the first no, so I need the crazy ones on my side!"

"...You really should word that a bit differently."

Mm, the bickering between Miu and Kiibo is pretty natural. And normally Kokichi wouldn't really tune it out as it's a bit funny typically, but he found himself looking absently ahead. Kind of muddled, he won't lie, since he had woken up in dry tears after some odd dream. Something about desperately wanting something he knew he couldn't ever have, or more like something he refused to let himself have.

He glances up, facing the glass ceiling where he's greeted by an array of clouds. Fluffy and bright like a distant dream he wanted to come into fruition. But what was it that he wanted exactly? He may never know.

Desire. It's a feeling he's somehow used to in a world of things he's more than happy with.

At some point, he had shut his eyes. And at some point they're opened again, no longer facing clouds anymore. No, instead it's a cracked, decaying ceiling again. Somewhat claustrophobia-inducing, because the walls are so thin and yet constricting. And yet they carry a sinister secret he just had to figure out. Or it would have disastrous consequences if he didn't.

His eyes catch onto a certain individual. Though their face is blurred, it- somehow makes his heart soar anyways. He could very vaguely remember their name, but could barely catch it. But it's there, still existing, just not for him.

"Ah, my favorite torture victim!" he chimes out brightly, wrapping his arms around this person from behind. "And how are youuu?" Why does he care so much? Only to conceal it as much as possible. So little to gain in this but so much to lose at the same time. It feels exhausting.

"Ah- hey, Kokichi," they greet back, hesitantly hooking their lips upward in a smile. "I didn't see you come in."

"Yeah, well, that's because I'm wearing shoes that are completely sound resistant, obviously!" He then pauses. "But that's a lie, of course. Sooo! How's my darling going to entertain me today?" He'd placed a name after 'darling', and yet it came out muffled after he'd said it. Like he was suddenly plunged into water immediately while speaking.

"Well, um… I was thinking of brewing some tea—" Kokichi gasps. Dramatically.

"I love tea! By the way, did you know tea leaves were used on livestock's food?"

"They… did…?"

"They poured hot water over tea leaves to sterilize the food. And that's how we got tea!" He laughs, lacing his hands behind the back of his head. "Well. All of that's a lie… Do you think if we ask Mom, she'll tell us the real origin of tea?" Mom? Seems like an important person, or at least someone that had left behind some sort of impact. He had a feeling it wasn't his actual mother. He doesn't have a family.

"That… would be nice." Their smile goes strained. Before relaxing just a touch. "Um… do you want me to make you some tea?"

"Yep!" he chirps in response. "But careful, though! If it's not to my utmost satisfaction, I'm sending my subordinates to cut all your clothes!" His heart is happy, for whatever reason he couldn't understand. This odd, stupid joy that came from being in this person's proximity was unnecessary and a hindrance. So why did he keep coming back?

Why did  _ they  _ keep entertaining him? Weren't they frightened? Weren't they so scornful of his existence? Something doesn't add up. Something doesn't quite reach the surface, as does too much of all of this.

"Yo, Cock-ichi! You're not the space idiot, so come back to Earth!" Oh shit, wait, where is he?

Kokichi blinks, and suddenly he's not in some rundown kitchen next to a heated kettle. He's back in the food court at the mall with his three friends.

Wait, three?

It takes a second, but sitting beside Miu is—take a wild guess. Shuichi freaking Saihara. Whose hat kind of looks insufferable each time Kokichi sees it again.

"Oh. Hey." The words fly out of his mouth before he could really stop it. Because talking doesn't exactly explain the biggest plot hole possible. Namely,  _ why is Shuichi here?  _ Was the universe going to keep aligning them together or something? Because if so, Kokichi had a little message he wanted to give the universe in response to this unjustified treatment.

"C'mon, don't say it so stiffly, Jesus…" Miu scoffs. Directing her attention to Shuichi. "Allow me to introduce my idiot friends. This here is Kokichi, and over there is Kiibo."

"I'm typically the babysitter of these two," Kiibo deadpans dryly. Kind of wearing the expression that told anyone he never got paid enough to deal with his two other friends' shenanigans. And, yes, he's very much right.

"...Hi…" Shuichi waves at the two sitting across from him very awkwardly. "Um… thanks for inviting me." Oh, so  _ that's  _ how Miu was going to play. Okay. Holy crap, all the fury he never knew he had pent up within him wanted out all of a sudden.

"Eh, don't mention it!" The blonde pats him on the back encouragingly. "It's pathetic to spend your weekend alone after you just transferred to Hope's Peak. It's just a crime, kid."

"Well… I- Well, I kind of turned down an invite from… Kaede and Kaito, was it?" His expression turns rosy, probably in embarrassment, but Kokichi wouldn't know because of that stupid hat.

"I would highly recommend their friendships over ours," Kiibo adds in. "Unless you want explosives a part of your everyday life." Oh come on, they're not  _ that  _ common. "But, it does surprise me you'd rather spend time with us than with one of the class representatives and the other a pretty popular classmate."

"...Miu was… kind of persuasive…" Shuichi's voice lowers until the last couple words are inaudible. Well, it did make sense. She had no filter, but the only question is  _ why.  _ Why Shuichi. Was it just to spite Kokichi or something? Because if so, it worked.

"Of fuckin' course I was! You'd have to be a real idiot to turn down an invitation from one of the golden high school geniuses of our age!" She grins, like a little puppy who was happy they received pats. "Obviously, we're the best group to hang out with."

"We do have our perks," Kiibo sighs in defeat. "Though, I'm mostly obligated to say that since Miu does the majority of my maintenance."

"I- suppose a robot and an inventor and a supreme leader are pretty interesting…" Shuichi chuckles softly.

"That's one way of saying it."

"Duh, we're interestin'! You ever meet a fuckin'  _ robot  _ before?" Yeah. A roomba. But Kokichi digressed.

Kokichi casually sips from his milkshake again. He doesn't really feel the need to say much, mostly because he really didn't want Shuichi's attention on him right now. For some reason. He wasn't really sure. "Our classmates are- Actually, all of them are pretty interesting, really," Shuichi notes with a soft smile. "I've... never really met an entomologist before."

Miu absently rubs at her neck, rolling her eyes. "Yep, you're definitely a newbie. That's not even the most bizarre Ultimate I've heard. My sister's the Ultimate Bomb Expert, I mean."

"That's… a talent?" Shuichi's brows raise as he glances over at her.

"Yep! So the Iruma name's got a bit of a reputation thanks to her," she laughs sheepishly. Boy, didn't Kokichi know.

"At least my creator has more of a normal talent." Kiibo shakes his head. "An Ultimate Engineer is arguably less chaotic."

"Pssh, no it's not! Inventors, mechanics, engineers, scientists… We're always livin' in chaos!" Kokichi had to admit, he was glad his two other friends were good conversationalists. Because, well, it meant that he could sort of exist without really interfering. Miu had chaotic energy, and Kiibo had mother energy. While Kokichi had, um…

T-Tired energy...? Eh, he can workshop it.

"Hey, Kokichi. Correct me if I'm wrong but, isn't your father a graduated Ultimate as well?" asks Kiibo, so innocently, so willing to have his other friend engage in the conversation. And yet, Kokichi was too busy debating on what personality he actually exhibited that he forgot he had to exist in the real world too. Leading him to blink and try hard to pretend he was listening to the conversation.

"Oh, yeah. He's a linguist," he replies, as casually as possible, but it comes out a little dry.

"He is?" Shuichi perks up a little. "Um, how many languages does he know?"

"Thirty-four, I think."

"That's… really neat. I, um, know English really well…" Kokichi swears there was more that Shuichi had said, except it progressed (or, more accurately, regressed) into a timid murmur where he just gave up, and tilted the brim of his dumb hat to obscure his flustered expression. Was it flustered? Only God Himself knows because of that goddamn stupid hat—

Miu props her elbow on the table with an innocent smile. Actually, it was less innocent and more egging on the situation with too much anticipation. "Didn't your pops also teach you French?" she asks, feigning curiosity when she already knew the answer.

"Not a lot of French." Kokichi shrugs, taking a sip of his milkshake that he sort of forgot was there. And as much as he despised Miu and everything related to her right now, he kind of didn't want to waste her money either.

"...You know French?" Shuichi's curious as well.

"Mr. Ouma is kind of rusty," Kiibo points out. And Kokichi is pretty thankful that he interjects. "There's a lot of grammatical inconsistencies with his sentences. For example, instead of d—"

"We get it, you're very high-functionin'." Miu rolls her eyes. "But you can't spout any type of language advice when you're about as consistent as fuckin' Google translate." At this, both Shuichi and Kokichi end up stifling small snickers.

"It's just difficult translating sometimes," he huffed. "Grammar is seriously terrible. And yet it takes up at least 45.6% of my code."

"Aha!" Miu abruptly stands up, startling the others very briefly. "Speakin' of code! I got a gift card I need to spend on!"

"...Miu, that has nothing to do with the word code," Kokichi deadpans, though a part of him almost kind of felt that he shouldn't have had to point it out.

"No, no, shitstain, they had a code thingy goin' on and I signed up for it and…" She frowns. Completely having forgotten the words to describe it, before she shakes her head. "Whatever! Point is, pack up, pansies, we're goin' to a really generic clothes store that has really great shoes for really cheap!"

Kokichi casts a glance to his poor, poor milkshake. He was barely done with it, and yet the blonde snatches it from his grip and tosses it in a trash can, followed by her half-eaten fries. It's almost comedic, the way she's dragging a robot around a mall, but it'd be even funnier if Kokichi himself wasn't also being dragged around.

Shuichi does his best to meet Miu's energetic pacing. "Is… she always this bouncy?" he asks the supreme leader beside him with a small chuckle.

"Yep. You get used to it," he sighs.

"You'd be flippin' your shit too if you saw how insane these discounts are," Miu barks at the two gossipers.

"As long as I'm not forced to wear another dress, I'm fine with it." Kiibo's expression scrunches up with the memories of a traumatized war veteran. Despite himself, Kokichi chuckles, recalling the event.

Maybe… Maybe this can be a normal day. It probably won't, because the world never really likes ever giving him a break, but he kind of didn't really mind that Shuichi was here. It's almost calming.

Of course, he forgets that his chaotic friends are here as well. So, that peace was definitely not going to last very long.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two of the Great Why-Did-I-Ever-Befriend-These-Idiots saga. In which Kokichi sort of finds a little bit of solace when he wasn't even searching for it.

It's pretty anticlimactic, actually, the way Miu had dragged all three boys into a random store. Excitedly looking at all the cool things they had on display, while Kokichi glanced at the clothes section with pure disinterest.

"I still fail to see why people are so obsessed with clothes," Kiibo deadpans, earning a flick to the forehead by Miu. Shuichi visibly grimaces from the loud clank it brought.

"Quiet or I'll disable your voice box," she threatens icily.

Kokichi leans in to whisper, "We can abandon her here and escape into a different store."

"Ohoho, the hell you are! You have to stay. The more friends I 'recommend' comin' to this place is the more I get royalties!" Miu points out, her grin stretching from ear to ear.

"That explains why we weren't deserted at the food court this time," Kiibo sighs.

"It was one time!" No it wasn't. "Look, if you stick around just this once, I'll buy all of our Halloween costumes. Promise." She gasps loudly, wildly shaking Kokichi's shoulder. "Dude, dude, the mask from The Purge." It seems to light up, based off of the button that was placed on the side of the mask.

He can't resist the temptation to press the button, so he does. It lights up in a neon orange which… Okay, it's fun so he presses it again.

"That's… a horror movie, right?" Shuichi asks, a bit hesitant like usual.

"A very boring and poor take on an interesting concept movie, is more accurate," Kiibo mutters. "Not only is it centered on murder which dilutes any other kind of crime that could've had a much more interesting direction, like committing tax fraud—"

"Kiibo hates horror movies," Miu adds in to interrupt the hour-long rant. "Which is exactly why we watch them every time it's his birthday."

"And I hate you every time for it."

"C'mon, admit that you're head over LED sneakers for me already." She rolls her eyes. Thus starts a brief bickering that leaves Shuichi to shuffle to Kokichi's side.

"...Do they always argue like this?"

"Yep. You get used to it," Kokichi deadpans. "Kiibo takes the mom role in our group too seriously sometimes." Or sometimes not seriously enough and he just insults them.

"Well… At least he cares enough about you." The detective glances away. "Or… something. Sorry, I'm not exactly knowledgeable in friendships like that."

"There's only a few classmates that act like total moms. Kaede, Kirumi, and Kiibo." But Kaede is more bossier than she is motherly and Kiibo is more babysitter-esque than anything.

"I haven't, um, really spoken to Kirumi much. Or much of the rest of everyone, actually." He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. "Just you, your friends, Kaede, and Kaito. Since, well, those two are class representatives and were showing me around. And, um, Rantaro seems really nice too."

"...Ah." Well, all of their classmates were vibrant. He doesn't exactly interact with them. They just feel… far away, even if they're close to him nearly everyday. Something about him doesn't feel he's allowed to get close to them. Somehow Miu and Kiibo were the rare exceptions.

And… Shuichi.

Nah, that's insane.

"—even my virgin nephew gets some more than you do!"

"He barely even qualifies as a nephew when you're near the  _ same age. _ " Oh, right, the two are still arguing.

"...Should we intervene?" Shuichi asks worriedly. "They'll probably get kicked out."

"...Nope. Let 'em vent. They don't really let out steam because they're too absorbed into their talents." Then again, so was he. His brain is incapable of ever stopping. Even now, he was plotting another heist at the nearest candy store. Their youngest member officially got their braces off and it was high time to celebrate it.

Either way, the two nerds' argument was a bit annoying. It's the same thing. "...Do you want to go sit outside or something so we don't get lumped up with them?"

"Can we?" Shuichi's voice is an octave higher, pleading. "My mom would kill me if I got kicked out of the mall during my first week here."

Eh, so would Kokichi's. So he spins on his heel and walks away, Shuichi following suit while his glance was tossed over at the other two arguing still. Now delving into each other's incompetence relating to their talents. All because Kiibo was a virgin.

A weird argument, really. Why Miu initiated it remained to be seen.

It's barely afternoon, so the sun is still peeking out of thin clouds by the time the two make it onto the front steps of the mall's entrance. "...Sorry about my idiotic friends," Kokichi feels he had to apologize.

"They're… actually pretty interesting," the other tries, even if it slightly falls flat. "At least, my school wasn't exactly interesting. But then again none of them had amazing talents."

"My school was kind of boring too before I went to Hope's Peak," Kokichi agrees. "So I learned to kind of spice up things as I go." Pranks. Sticking up for his group that he helped build from scratch. Heists, heists, and more heists that were just for the sake of fun. It's all fun, and yet it's stress and familiar protectiveness.

"You're… a supreme leader. What does a strange talent like that entail?" Well, it looks like Shuichi had never seen Humnews' list for Most Bizarre Talents to Date. No one will ever beat Duck Manager, though. The 90's were a strange time.

"Not much. Just handling my organization." Kokichi shrugs.

"But… It has to be really important if it catches the attention of the government, right?"

"Maybe." The story behind why exactly he was picked as an Ultimate is one he was glad wasn't disclosed to the public for plenty of reasons. This is why you don't kidnap sheep.

Shuichi doesn't seem too satisfied with the vague one-word response, but some things were meant to be kept a secret. Kirigiri was surprisingly patient with him, really. Might be the perk of having a stubborn daughter.

"So. Um, you speak French, right?" It's slightly obvious that Shuichi is grasping at straws.

"My dad sorta gave up when I was having issues speaking." More like having night terrors, but yeah. Same difference. "But I know how to say 'oiseau' which means bird. Only because it infuriates my dad every time."

" 'Wa-zo?' " Shuichi attempts hesitantly.

"Yeah. It has all the French vowels in it and nothing sounds like how it looks. It's why he hates it so much."

"That… Your dad sounds fun," he laughs softly.

"Well, he lets me drink hot chocolate a lot more than is probably healthy, so I'd say yeah."

"Mine does too. Well, for Christmas, anyways. He's not a very big fan of chocolate."

"What an evil sperm donor." Somehow this makes Shuichi laugh. It makes him make an audible vibration in the back of his throat that indicates amusement. Sure, he's done it before but it's the first time he had laughed higher than speaking level.

"He's… not so bad," he chuckles. "But he isn't an Ultimate Linguist, that's for sure."

" _ Former _ Ultimate Linguist, but eh," Kokichi corrects, followed by a shrug.

"Sorry, heh. Former. None of my family are Ultimates or former ones, so…" He trails off, but it was pretty easy to think that that sort of pressure would be colossal. The Saihara name was always vaguely familiar, but Kokichi could chalk it up to how there was a relatively well-known actor at least more than twenty years ago that went by the name of Saihara, and then the Saihara's detective agency all the way in… Argentina? Yep.

Shuichi's name isn't very huge, but still big enough to bring more than enough pressure of being good enough. Kokichi has had that worry once in a blue moon, but exhaustion eventually caught up that the worry no longer feels as consequential somehow. Like it's already gotten as bad as it could be. But, it hasn't?

"Must be a pretty tame family, then," Kokichi comments.

"Well… My mom did require me to explain who exactly I was going to meet up with. But since all of you are pretty famous in your own ways, it didn't take very much for her to agree to it. Well, that and I think my dad went to college with Kiibo's… maker? Iidabashi, I think."

Well, that certainly triggered something if anything else. It wasn't even that remarkable, but something about a script kept popping into his head, like it was capitalized and in bold on a word document when everything else was normal-sized. It took up his attention immediately.

"...Yeah. That's the engineer guy." He nods. Why is 'script' suddenly taking up his head? Okay, sure, mock his old theatre phase, very funny.

"...Isn't it sort of weird how we seem to be… connected, in a way?" Shuichi suddenly quips, his words immediately yanking Kokichi's attention as well as his heartbeat. "My parents know your friends' parents, but… that's not it. No, it feels like something more…"

"Don't tell me you took the joke I told you when we first met seriously," he deadpans, but oh god oh god could this be? Was he finally able to relate with someone else in noticing details that somehow clicked when they shouldn't? Was he actually not crazy?

Was he… actually not alone?

Shuichi pauses for a moment. His Adam's apple bobs slightly as he swallows for a short moment. Before his lips part and all that's said is…

"It could just be a coincidence. I've heard a lot of Ultimate names across the news and whatnot," he sighs out, dismissive of the topic in general that reels Kokichi's heartbeat back into a dejected drumming. But, it does make sense in a way he was reluctant to stand beside; he really could've just seen Shuichi's name and appearance and forgot about it.

But, why did these things feel so awry then?

"Fair," he agrees, even as he knew it was a pointless lie to conjure up. He's just crazy. Yep. He's been trying to rationalize that into his head for too long now, that the stress of high school is just getting to him. His cousin can definitely relate since she accidentally got into Gachas and it's ruined her and her school life. Gambling is intense.

"So, um…" Shuichi trails off again, and isn't able to pick back up his sentence once the doors to the mall's entrance swing open. Catching the attention of both boys.

"Good news and bad news!" Miu chimes, which leaves a hand to slide down Kiibo's face as he groans. "Good news is that we're getting our costumes off Amazon." They could probably guess the bad news.

"Did you… get kicked out?" Shuichi stands, his voice slightly wavering.

"No, but  _ she  _ got suspended from the store she was shopping at," Kiibo sighs out.

"Eh, place was cheap anyways. Buuut we can get ice cream instead. My treat, again."

"You threw away my milkshake just to get kicked out of a store you don't even like." Kokichi feels absurd even having to point it out.

"They didn't have the choker I wanted, so what's the point? Anyways, onwards! Mama wants a waffle cone." And Miu was off, regardless if the other three objected or not.

"...The benefits of sticking with you guys dwindles each day." Kiibo exhales shortly.

"You just don't like her nephew," Kokichi points out.

"He mostly specializes in cars and I'm not a Transformer." Again, Shuichi laughs, but is quick to press his palm to his mouth to mute the noise. But he shares a very quick glance with Kokichi, who only looked because of the sound.

Kiibo is first to follow Miu, while Shuichi hangs back slightly to ask quietly, "Who's this 'nephew'?"

"Miu's older sister had a kid that's super close in age to her, and they sorta hate each other to the point she doesn't really like mentioning him unless she's using him for an argument," Kokichi briefly explains.

"Ah. People here are… really interesting, huh?"

"Yep. It gets better." Not really. Does it? He wouldn't know, because he's always so tired of feeling this way. No logic when he lives by it; craves it, and yet with Shuichi all of that flies out of a window.

Why can't things just… not be this way?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so a bit has happened with me, and i figured i could explain here rather than, like, take up the attention of the story. basically, tragedy sorta struck in my life i won't really go into too much detail over (natural disaster) aaand it hasn't been too easy but i'm trying to get into a better writing mood again. that being said, i might still suck like i did with this chapter. so, uh, please bear with me. or don't, no pressure.


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